I is exhausted and I think that shot of Tequila is doing wonders for my state of being.
Merry Christmas to one and all, and will see you on New Year's Eve.
Now, if only that pile of wet leaves weren't so wet.....
Monday, December 25, 2023
Monday, December 18, 2023
Episode #202: Playing The Long Game Of '23/'24
It's funny how playing the long game can monumentally affect your short game, no matter what your vibe is. I'll give you a couple of examples.
Example #1: Losing weight.
Back in mid October I decided, after seeing a photo of myself looking rather portly (now there's an archaic word you don't often hear), that I needed to lose weight. so I chose to pursue a non-Noom Noom diet (basically, not spending any money) diet, which basically meant that I needed to cut my caloric intake.
T.L.; D.R.: I dropped from 2300+ calories per day to roughly 1200+ per day.
Now the long game here was to lose weight, which I did, so far about 9lbs +/-, but there were some side effects to a very brutal short game. The most serious side effect in the short term was major sugar crashes.
In a nutshell, when you are reducing your caloric intake, you also have to reduce your (in my case) insulin intake. Thus, the brutal short game was about a month and a half of consistently tweaking my day time and night time insulin until I was able to find a happy melding of the tow that wouldn't make me sick.
Added bonus: Changing my diet also started giving me enough energy to tackle the distance I cover in my daily walks. Less calories equals more burning the excess weight. So while the short game was unusually brutal (e.g. bad lows and the side effects thereof, along with consuming certain edibles for the first time in more than three decades.), the long game has been sunshine and a wildflower valley.
Example #2: Publishing a novella.
This is a little trickier to separate into the short and the long game, but I will give it the old technical school try.
Now, obviously enough, the long game is to publish this novella. But the short game has been just as maddening as the previous example. To whit:
I've had to, albeit reluctantly, pivot to another graphic designer for my cover, because the one that I normally use has been seriously m.i.a since early November. Their socials seem to be kaput with no activity whatsoever (and that includes advertising being sent out via e-mail).
Now this pivot to another graphic designer has created a cascade effect for everything else: I can't use my current formatter because I don't have a cover, so they're now on the back-burner; I had to solicit a few suggestions from the writer's group that I belong to, and having found a potential new one has brought a small litany of other issues, none of which are the potential new designer's fault whatsoever.
For example, while I was deciding on which package to purchase, I was pre-answering a question to their form (as in, getting my answers prepped prior to the purchase). While I was doing that, I discovered that I actually don't like the current title, so I had to come up with a brand new one (title #3). And, oh wait a minute, I found a few errors in the final draft that I now have to fix.
Plus, there are a myriad of other tiny issues that need to be addressed once I purchase the book cover, but before I actually publish. So while the short game for publishing this novella isn't fraught with drastic health issues as the first example, there's still a tone of short term aggravation that has to be addressed before we cross the long game finish line of self-publishing.
In summary, playing the long game often involves a plethora of short term headaches with minuscule rewards, but when you do finally succeed at the very end, it does truly seem that all of the short term aggravation really was worth it in the long run.
And in the end, that is all that rally matters.
Have a happy Monday and splendorous week!
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, December 11, 2023
Episode #201: Do You Critique The Book Or The Writer?
I subscribe to a nifty monthly newsletter put out by the Insecure Writer's Support Group, which contains great advice and links for writers of all abilities, among other things. It also sponsors a monthly blog hop, which I haven't participated in quite some time, and in conjunction with that blog hop, the newsletter will have a question prompt for that blog hop in case you're lacking a topic of choice for your monthly participation.
For the month of December the question had to do with book reviews, specifically, when you write a book review, are you critiquing the book or the author of said book?
For me, back in the day when I was able to write book reviews on Amazon for books that I had borrowed from my public library (current Amazon policy is that you have to spend at least $50 with a credit or debit card before you can leave a review), the majority of the time I would review the book and not the author.
Being a semi-professional writer, I was quite sensitive to sledgehammering an author over a particular book, since I had quite a few people do it to me, so I would try my best to critique a particular book. Very rarely did I critique the writer, as I would always try to give them the benefit of the doubt, especially if it was for a book that I didn't like or understand (example, I don't understand most poetry nor traditional prose). I always try to find something positive about a book, which is why I usually go no lower 2 1/2 stars on my public reviews.
On at least three occasions though, I did critique the author of a particular book. The first time was a book that started out decent but quickly nosedived into a master's thesis: very analytical and devoid of emotion. The second time was a memoir written by someone who was a civil rights lawyer, but it too nosedived, only this time it was the equivalent of a novel length apology from a White Liberal Savior. The third time was a well known indie musician turned writer who wrote a bio on a well known early R&B singer, but the bio basically read like a bio of the group they were in and not of them.
Beyond those three, all my reviews have concentrated on the book. I do try to point out in the reviews of books I don't quite understand why I would give them just a three or three and a half star rating, and I always try give props to those writers who write in genres that I don't understand.
I know it may sound like I'm being wishy-washy or waffling with those 3 star reviews, but I simply can't see myself hammering a book simply because I don't understand it. I find there's a huge distinction between reading a book and not liking it, and reading a book and not understanding it, so I always wrote my reviews with that philosophy in mind.
Oh and, in case you're wondering about the reviews of books that I'd enjoyed, almost without exception I do 4 or 4 1/2 star reviews. I have problems giving 5 star reviews, but that's a me problem more than anything else.
So my friends, this concludes my semi-shallow dive into my little slice of the topic called "Book Reviews". Hope you liked it and were able to learn something from it. Have a great week.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, December 4, 2023
Episode #200: Did I Actually Listen To That?
The other day, I was perusing my socialized media platform of choice, YouTube, when I noticed in the comment section of a cover band that I follow {Broken Peach} that someone mentioned that the band was in their 2023 YT music recap. I didn't think much of it until a FB friend happened to mention/post her top ten Spotify list, then presto, blog post topic.
I've been commenting on YouTube for the past five years, simply because out of all the socialized media platforms that I'm familiar with, this one seems to be the most stable of the bunch. In short, because of the variety of the channels that I subscribe to {57 and counting}, 99% of the commenters I come across are the type that don't engage in flame wars or any of the kind of trolling that permeates those other platforms.
Normally I do not bother with the yearly music recap, because I really don't care to review what I listen to. I listen to what intrigues me the most. However, because I needed something to blog about and because Little Brother is a trade-off when your digital life is controlled by the Alphabet Company, it was a match made in Purgatory.
~~~~~~~
So to start things off, according to YouTube, I listened to 1,456 minutes of music, contained in 297 different songs that were performed by 129 different artists. For genres, this breaks down to 23% Rock; 16% Indie; 9% Heavy Metal; 7% Pop and 4% Country, with the remaining 41% classified as Other.
I'm like, "Okay....", like, apparently listening to Classical or any other now predominately niche genres like RPG/Fantasy didn't register on the YT Algorithm Scale? Whatever. How about we look at what the top 5 songs where that piqued my interest that were played?
1} South Side by Moby;
2} Life Is A Rock by Reunion;
3} Bad by Royal Deluxe;
4} What Would You Do With A Bernie Sanders by The Cog Is Dead;
5} Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy) by Big & Rich.
Ummm....Okay? Like, I really can't believe that those were my top 5 tracks listened to for 2023. Granted, they were good, but "South Side"? Really? I'm sure there were a lot of other tracks that got heavy play that should've made this list.
Well, how 'bout my top five artists? That should be a good one, right? Right?
1} Leo Moracchioli aka Frog Leap Studios;
2} Broken Peach;
3} Violet Orlandi;
4} Ami Kim;
5} Moby.
Okay, I get the first four listed, as they are prolific cover artists whose videos are a must watch, and who are now branching out into original music, but Moby? Moby? Really? There are so many other artists that I have watched on YouTube that are so much more worthy, like Sina, whose drum covers are spot on and who is branching out into original music as well.
Sigh.
Well, let's try to see what my particular music mood was. Uplifting was 25%; Upbeat was 24%; Energizing was 22%; Dramatic was 15% and Happy was 11%. Who knows what the remaining 3% was. And I have no idea on how to even remotely interpret this particular glob of info. Does it mean that all the music that I had decided to listen to was just one big fat Venn Diagram for positivity? I find that very odd indeed.
It looks like that overall, the stats that YouTube came up with were woefully short of meatiness, but overflowing on vapid empty calories. If anything, it just solidifies my belief that ignoring my yearly YouTube music recap was a very good move on my part, and that paying attention to it this time was an exercise in bewilderment. Like the commercial where the waiter brings out prawn for a customer who clearly states that he has a shellfish allergy.
To sum it up, for 2023 I listened to, allegedly, 24 1/4 hours of music that was collectively produced by 129 different artists who created 297 different songs. To be honest, I have to disagree with the total amount of time spent listening to music, because I'm almost certain that I'd listened to more than 24 1/4 hours of YouTube music. But what do I know, I'm only the actual user of the product, so my opinion means as much to YouTube as a politician who swings right or centrist with their opinions.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little weird breakdown of my YouTube music listening endeavors, because this is what you have to look forward to if you spent even a scintilla doing the exact same thing. And please check out those artists links, they really have put out some outstanding quality music videos on their channels throughout 2023.
Monday, November 27, 2023
Episode #199: Please Wait, Your Call Is Very (Non)Important To Us
With the parental bragging now out of the way, on to the topic at hand: waiting.
I know this doesn't sound like much of a topic to expound and expand on, but have you ever had a week that was basically spent just....waiting. Waiting for someone to get back to you. Waiting for inspiration. Waiting for a train. Waiting for Calgon to take you away. You know, waiting is the hardest part of life.
I had such a week like that. Just spent it...waiting. Normally I'm not a very patient man (having grown up in a household that does not value punctuality has made me become OCD when it comes to time as an adult), but I have mellowed out over the years. Nowadays, I simply try to play the long game with my patience. If I need something really bad, and it's from a person/business that normally is very good about getting it done in a timely manner, I'll be an adult and wait. It's not like I actually have somewhere to be. I'm retired, where am I gonna go?
So, we spent a week being a redundant clock-watcher: sleep, eat, walk, write, walk, eat, write, run errands, computer, sleep. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. I mean, not even doing a deep rabbit hole dive down YouTube was enough to keep me occupied (and if you know what kind of legitimately odd YT content that I sometimes watch, that statement would make you say, "d@mn!") during the week. Nor changing up how I answer the phone was doing it for me.
Note: I now answer the phone like Sherman from Mr. Peabody's Improbable History and tell the people on the other end I'm a tween. If I can get them to stay longer, I'll ask them innocent questions about what they're trying to sell.
I don't believe I've had a week like this before, where the excitement of doing a digital crossword puzzle is an actual highlight of the week. Actually, I should correct myself, as it's a co-highlight. The other co-highlight is mentally working out the 3rd ending to the 3rd volume of my Hot Mess series (no, not a trilogy anymore), which truth be told, ain't easy.
So, as they say, patience is a virtue that no one seems to have anymore, in any kind of quantity. A droll dry week is just....meh. I should add that Thanksgiving wasn't the misadventure that it usually turns out to be. I got to meet a few relatives that I haven't seen since 2018/19; got a depressing update on another; had a pleasant drive to the gold coast to have that Thanksgiving ("gold coast' here in CT is lower Fairfield County, where a large percentage of those who work in NYC enjoy living and spending their hard earned money); and pleasant return trip, in which I started in sunshine and arrived home at night.
But yeah, waiting in the real world is not like Heinz Catsup. It's more like molasses on a cold autumn day. Just. Slooooow. Hope your Monday doesn't continue a previous mediocre week.
Monday, November 20, 2023
Episode #198: I Are Smarter Than Two Scammers
Last Thursday (11/16/23) against the Las Vegas oddsmakers, I managed to keep two call center employees on the phone for ten solid minutes. I know, sounds impossible, especially when the person they're talking to is purposely being stupid, but it's true and I have witnesses to boot.
The scam in question was free Internet and phone, for the low, low fee of my SS#. It took me about fifteen seconds to figure that out, since the guy started rapid firing all kinds of legit govt programs that would allow you to actually get these items for little-to-no cost. So, once I had the required info, off I went to the greyhound races. Now in order to make this seem funny for you, please picture me speaking in an ambiguous voice that could pass for either a drunk old lady or drunk old man.
Also keep in mind that I was expecting this call to be terminated with extreme prejudice by them because I was expecting them to have some basic computer smarts to go with the fact that they had my phone # in front of them, but thankfully for me, they didn't.
Them: asking for all kinds of personal info, starting with my home address.
Me: 231 Capitol Avenue Hartford CT, 06106 (CT State Library and CT State Supreme Court).
Now I should note that the guy stepped away from the phone to check with somebody after I had given the street address, the city/state and the zip.
Then: asking for my name.
Me: Ned Lamont (governor of CT)
Now at this point, I figured that the guy would immediately understand that I was giving a fake name, but no. Thus the call continued.
Them: asking for a date of birth.
Me: March 3, 1955 (I had picked this date because I took a wild shot about our governor's age. Turns out I had the correct year, but not the month, as our governor is 68).
Here's where things went incredibly diagonal and impossibly stupid.
Them: asks for the last four digits of my social.
Me: "Why?" and "Why do you need it?"
Them: spends the next couple of minutes trying to explain to me why they need it and me sounding like a broken record. Eventually, steps away from the phone and because I hear actual silence instead of other people talking in the background, I say, "Gotcha!"
But no, the guy returns with his supervisor, who patiently tries to explain, multiple times, the reasoning why he needed my social and me acting like douchebag. Finally I come down an octave and start talking in my normal voice.
Me: Do you have Google on your computer? (I figure everyone, no matter the OS, has access to Google)
Them: Yes.
Me: Google my name (Ned Lamont) and tell me what you find.
I spent the next minute trying to get him to Google my name and him either not doing it or saying he did but it didn't have required info (aka social) on the page in question.
At this point, I'm done browbeating this yokel, so I cheerfully state the following: Tell you what, I'll Google my own name and I'll tell you what I've found. I say each letter of the governor's name and when it lands on the appropriate page, I say, "Ned Lamont, Governor of Connecticut."
Only then does he get the point and finally hangs up on me. The entire call lasted almost ten minutes and they succeeded in acquiring absolutely no useful information from me whatsoever.
When I finally came upstairs to run a few afternoon errands, the family asked me why I was on the phone for son long (my den is directly below the living room, so you can hear almost everything), so I patiently explained the entire phone call to them. They couldn't believe how dense the call center employees were.
Suffice to say, the phone calls were very few and far between for the rest of the day, which was a welcome respite, as they started back up bright and early the next day.
Believe it or not, I really do enjoy my interactions with those pesky call centers, but topics of choice are getting so stale that it's becoming not worth my time and effort to go through the robo intro in order to talk to a human being.
Thank you for spending a couple of minutes reading my tale of improvisation. I will try to do better with my next one, which is what I often tell those who try to waste my time with their pitches.👀
Monday, November 13, 2023
Episode #197: I Is Your Space Cadet!
"Wait..wut?! I forgot to write a blog post?! Holy Slip Of The Brain Batman! What do I do?"
"How should I know Boy Blunder? You're the one that got yourself into wearing a full diaper, it's up to you to get yourself changed. What kind of guardian would I be if I helped you out?"
"A helicopter guardian?"
Batman throws a fractured look at the Boy Blunder, before saying, "You better have that diaper changed and this blog smelling like a field of wildflowers by the time I return, or you will be punished."
Boy Blunder goes wide-eyed in fear, for he knows that if he doesn't clean himself up, he'll be forced to listen to speeches from the bad side of the House and Senate for an entire twenty-four hours. Resigned to his fate, he morosely sits down in front of his facsimile of the old Smith-Corona Electric Typewriter and starts pecking away on his blog post. Seriously, with two fingers and both thumbs.
~~~~~~
The weekend started like any other weekend for me, for I was full of vim, vigor and energy busting at the seams. Not even the fact that a holiday not the 4th, Memorial Day or Christmas actually caused the banks to close on a Saturday could make me deviate from my plan: walking to break my personal record.
By the time 1:30p rolled around, I had my personal errands done, had my stuffed rabbit all cleaned and dusted off, and finished my thirty minute Gregorian chant/ode to my miniature garden gnome. I was ready to rock and waddle down the road to my own private Ohio. Got properly dressed like a typical teenager would on a cold blustery day, and off I went on my walk.
I traveled hither. I traveled yither. I traveled yon. Yon go me to the charming neighborhoods where the normal people don't visit, because who wants to visit MLMs with any kind of regularity? But, I soldiered on and dodged all those MLM and Amway representatives, because I are not smart. Anywho, we made it back to a main road, one that I delightfully walked last summer when I didn't have so much vim, vigor and energy for, and after looking both ways thrice, crossed it.
Immediately I found myself in a land where time stayed stuck in the 90's, where people actually cared about their manicured lawns, did spiffy landscaping and walked their tiny little yippers. I managed to dodge those little yippers by dropping to the ground cowering in fear until they walked by. When I'd received the odd puzzled look from random passers-by, I said, "What? I love dogs! It's their owners I'm afraid of!"
So after cleaning myself off, I soldiered on. I soon found myself in a wooded area with a gravel path that eventually changed into a paved path. A paved path that used recycled sound bites from people who have for the past 8 (that's right, 8) years allowed #44 to employ squatter's rights inside their feeble, tired minds. And before you ask, yes I did hear some faint screaming when the blustery wind blew through the bare trees. But I didn't explore the screams any further and continued onwards.
Some twenty minutes later, I found myself in a lovely senior citizens housing complex. Complete with actual breathing senior citizens. I think. Maybe. I did see three...and the sign did say Senior Citizen Housing....so there. Anyways, I stood in the parking lot trying to ascertain what way I wanted to go, because it really is hard to see through paneled fence. But with my keen x-ray vision, I chose the road that legitimately is less traveled, cause you know, a cul-de-sac.
Off I went again, fondly remembering the nifty bicycle accidents I had while cutting across the greenery in my younger days. I wandered up the cul-de-sac and eventually found my way to the other cul-de-sac, then to the actual main drive, with wasn't being driven manually. After making an executive decisions, we made that RIGHT turn at Albuquerque and waddled my way to the shopping place, cause we wanted to check out a brand new store that catered to those on limited income and/or enjoyed quality cheap stuff.
So we checked out the store and lo and behold, this bad boy was actually CLEANER THAN A POOP DECK. I mean, holy altar of Arnold, this place was absolutely tidy and spotless. It just blew my tiny mind away that a business could actually care about their customers...well, after picking up my jaw from the concrete floor, I searched and found my favorite item for writing (dry liner), checked out and continued on my walk.
Because we still had that original goal in mind, we decided that we were going to "circle back" and try to beat that personal record of mine. So after completing take #7A, we restarted our walk. We meandered through the plaza briefly to see if the local Bucks with 10 point Stars was open again after receiving a tummy tuck and a face-lift (it was), before continuing down the local drag-strip.
At the corner of the drag strip, a decision had to be made on what direction I wanted to take: go straight and wander some of the back roads, thus prolonging the amount of sunshine that I didn't steal, or commit gluttony. Obviously I chose gluttony, because ya know.... So continuing down the other speedway (not to be confused with chain of the same), we eventually came across Paul Bunyon's infamous toothpick.
No jiving, this thing was humongous. Biggest toothpick I done seen and I was amazed that this thing hadn't blown over yet. Scratching my head, I ignored the sniveling sneers that the houses were throwing at me, which I was easily, with a calorie or two burned, to bat away. So I continued my hop, step and the world's tiniest jump down the street until I came to the new and actually improved crosswalk. Overjoyed, I waited anxiously for the light to change because I was rapidly losing sunlight, even though the clock said 3:15ish. But it rings and I wipe the sleep from my eyes and cross the street.
Now it was a race against time to see I would get home before the sun vanished. But I had no fear because the Robin Hood investment app would soon come to my rescue. Or maybe not, because as soon as the sun started sinking low, that gosh darn fiddle of Johnny's made an appearance. Shocked, just schlocked, I said," adios" to the horse it rode in on and left.
Some twenty-five minutes later, after bathing in the glory of an afternoon delight, I found myself at the crossroads of Here Avenue and Now Boulevard. Strange as though it may sound, I was actually jumping for you, because even though I didn't have five hundred miles to walk, I did have two, which required me to put one foot in front of the other.
Which I accomplished with great gusto and presence of mind. We waddled and staggered and walked a little diagonal as we inched our way around our alma mater (elementary that is) to hit the back end of my walk, which turned out not to be so much of back end but simply the front end of another back end.
Note: for those who are curious, I, the Boy Blunder was listening to my podcasts all while on my not-so-arduous journey of unsound mind, so I was becoming educated while burning calories.
Once again, we sucked it up and pursued our mind-numbingly tedious zig-zag through the side streets until I hit the second to last main drag that I needed to cross. Fortunately for me, because I wasn't in funky town or on the boulevard of broken dreams but merely on the road to nowhere, traffic was sparse and crossing the road to the other side was safe, simple and stress free.
Into the homestretch, we started picking up the pace and actually started mapping out extra road to walk on, just in case if we fell short. Which we temporarily did when we crossed that inviting threshold. But, not to worry, we managed to bet our record.....once we went to the supermarket to pick up a few things, because I, The Boy Blunder, not to be confused with the Blue Beetle, can actually complete my assigned task, no matter how much kicking and screaming I do, for I am a wild and crazy guy.
Sunday was spent goofing off to the point of not remembering to do anything worthwhile besides reading, crossword puzzles and pondering the meaning of Brian's life. So kids, don't spend your day pondering the meaning of Brian's life when you can do something even better, like trying to decide if the world does indeed revolve around you.
Monday, November 6, 2023
Episode #196: Adventures on a Saturday
With nothing really gelling or coagulation for a meaty topic today, I thought I would share my (mis)adventures this past Saturday {11/5/23}. The day started relatively okay-ish, with my normal visit to my local branch of one of the biggest banks in CT. I say "okay-ish" is that as of the latter, the vibe has been so terrible there (new staff and a town that has a mighty Karen/Kevin vibe to it) for me that I have gone to the branch next town over for quality customer service and no aggravation.
Anyways, the T.L.:D.R. version of this visit was this: ask the same question three times before getting an answer, which was quickly followed up by a question so moronically stupid that it went beyond Al Jaffee territory and into me simply palming my face so hard that I fell to the ground unconscious, which afterwards I said, "I'm not going to answer that."
Fast forward to the early afternoon. I had already planned out a potential route for my Saturday walk, which was very adventurous to say the least....{to be continued after the break}
break: the reason why it was so adventurous is due to the fact that after seeing a recent pic of myself looking rather portly, I decided to do Noom without actually spending money to do Noom. This basic concept, coupled with some new meds from my new doctor, has so far allowed me to lose about 9lbs, and has allowed me to reduce my maintenance meds while giving me energy that I haven't seen in decades.
{continuing from the previous point}...as I'd decided to take the long way to the local middle school before taking longish roads back home. But as I crested the first hill and came across the first dead end street, I made an executive decision to take the pleasant detour to Someplace Else. So off we went, traversing the dead end road to a local town path that cut through behind the church and through the senior citizen's/disable living housing village.
Along the way, I came across a monument dedicated to a couple of fallen local police officers (long story as to why this memorial was such an out of the way place instead of the center of town).
About ten minutes later, for I am a fast walker, I decided to stop at the library to buy some used c.d.s. Sadly, all they had on sale were those in the New Age Pop/Country genre that really wasn't for me, so against my better judgment I decided to check out the used books. I say "against" because at this point in the year, it was just me/myself/I walking, with no backpack to speak of. But.....I found a couple of books that the library was culling from their shelves that were selling for roughly 7% of their cover price ($2 each).
Granted, the title of the first one hooked me, I mean, let's be real, someone inviting me on shore to be killed and eaten is definitely a book worth checking out. In this particular case, it seems to be, according to the inner jacket, a lovely memoir/history about visiting/living in New Zealand.
Now the second one grabbed me simply because it's about a part of Hollywood that I actually never really heard/read about. Which for me, is the equivalent of a Harry Potter devotee saying, "What? There's actually something new that I haven't heard of before?"
The book, from a casual thumb through, showcases all the bars/clubs that were frequented by a who-who's of Hollywood celebs from the 30s thru the 60s, along with all the juicy stories. So this will be an interesting read.
In any event, the problem we now faced with our walk, was carrying both medium sized tomes in a plastic bag for the rest of my walk. Which kind of sucked, because it forced me to change my homeward bound route quite a bit. So instead of really going back home via quite the circuitous route of the local elementary school, which ultimately would have allowed me to beat my personal best of 13k+ steps/5.5+ miles, we had to settle for a shorter and less meandering route through some main drag/residential streets that got me home about an hour earlier than I had expected.
Overall, it was a most refreshing walk. No near misses or even far misses by distracted motorists, either walking on the road or in the crosswalk, so that's a plus. I think I will put this route on my walking agenda again before we get a good old New England snowfall that would make walking in the woods, somewhat dangerous.
That was basically the highlight of my Saturday, as the annoying part of my Saturday was trying to figure what I had left for completed manuscripts or potential manuscripts (found 40+ short stories that I think I can make super meaty and filling), which might be a post for another time. Have a fun filled Monday and remember, you can always pretend the world does indeed revolve around you...as long as you play nice.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, October 30, 2023
Episode #195: Everything Is Cyclical These Days
Everything is cyclical these days, no matter whether you're writing or dealing with something that can be mildly annoying. Like telephone scammers.
This post was actually inspired by a Facebook memory from three years ago {10/28/2020}, when I was counting down the final two days to retirement {note: three years ago, October 31st fell on a Sunday so I had to retire on the last day of the work week, which was Friday October 30, 2020}, which being my humorous self broke it down by days/hours/minutes/seconds.
Anyways, it got me thinking about where life is often cyclical in nature, which led me to thinking about scammers from India. We still have a landline that often serves as 4th number backup when people can't be reached on their cell number. I'll zip right to the T.L.;D.R. of sending money to charities gets your personal info sold.
Early on in my retirement, I used to have all kinds of long(ish) phone calls with scammers trying to sell all kinds of useless stuff {e.g. Spectrum/Comcast/DirectTV/AT&T, Micro$oft, Amazon}. I first started by pretending to be gay and making passes at all of the male callers {they're extremely homophobic in India}. After a while, I switched off to giving all kinds of semi-fake information to the callers, but even that got kind of boring. So I would go into a "cyclical" phase of simply trying to make the phone call as brief as humanly possible WITHOUT hanging up on them, average length being about one minute.
Side note: My mother ultimately wasted a bit of money in having call blocking on the phone, simply because all scammers employ spoofing phone numbers, which makes it virtually impossible to block the number.
Again, I eventually got bored being that brief on the phone {yes, I know, I need a life. I'm retired, so sue me} and started to once again, get creative with the calls. Over the past three years, I have done the following:
1} Used different voices, like a bad version of Mrs Doubtfire, Tim Conway's "Old Man" or a redneck/hillbilly/trailer park denizen. Even when I would talk in my normal voice, I was always called, "ma'am" or "miss". Sometimes I would pretend to be offended.
2} Because I would get two different types of callers: Indians and everyone else. For everyone else, I would concoct creative, if moderately plausible, stories when they ask if I was in an accident a few years ago. Of course, the stories got darker every time they called. With the Indian callers, I would do things like ask about the weather in India, compliment their voice, ask about their personal life, etc.
3} For certain types of Indian calls, the stories would get a little realistic. For example, for the Spectrum/Comcast calls, I would either tell them an outrageous amount of boxes or joyously greet them as a long lost co-worker. Twice I shocked them so bad that I managed to get a real customer service number out of them. If it was from one of those fake utilities, like for solar power, I would pose as a hapless businessman who paid all of his bills in cash, had no credit or debit cards and begged to get his rebate as a gift card. Once, I had a scammer explain to me what a WalMart card was.
Since everything is cyclical in nature for me, we are currently back on the downhill slope to dullness. Because it's so easy to tell where the call is actually coming from (pro-tip: there is about a one second connection delay in which you will hear a distinct "boop" sound, which means the call is from India) and what kind of call it is: no "boop" sound means you'll get an AI voice that needs to be dealt with before you go to the actual call, and more often than not, it's for the accident payment scam; a "boop" sound means, at least for me, a Medicare scam.
For the former, it usually takes me no more than twenty-five seconds to get through the AI, then I simply say, "Thank you for calling GEICO/State Farms/Liberty Mutual Insurance, how may I direct your call?", which in turn makes them hang up. For the Medicare scam, once they start asking if I have part A & B, I say, "Thank you for calling the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services. How may I direct your call?", which again makes them hang up.
Note: the latter business stated is the actual federal agency that oversees Medicare and Medicaid.
Overall, I'm having lots of fun doing this, and as always, I'm always shooting for the Golden Sombrero of making the caller deviate from their script. Haven't had any luck, but it's not for the lack of trying. If you're really interested in seeing scammers being made to look like fools, there is a channel on YouTube called IRLRosie, who specializes in doing this, both solo and in a group effort. She is a very talented voice over artist and musician.
Hope you have a very happy Halloween this year!
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, October 23, 2023
Episode #194: You're Acknowledging...Who?
As most of you are undoubtedly aware of, I have a very odd sense of humor, which often will slide in my blog writings, FB postings, YT postings and just my plain writing. Today's post is about my oddball humor appearing in an often overlooked part of a published book: the acknowledgment page.
Now, I have done this before previously with my trad/indie book called "Line 21/The Inner Sibling", where I responded to a trollish insult to my writing abilities by saying, "guess what, I can string more than two words together."
In my upcoming book entitled "The Lie Reveals The Truth", with a tentative release date Spring 2024, I decided to get very cheeky with the acknowledgement page. The kind of cheekiness that will have you scratching your head and saying, "What the?" to your computer screen. So here, in order of how I wrote about them on the acknowledgement page, are the entities/people that deserve my recognition.
1} My house. No joke. One typical Saturday morning in the early summer of 2021, I woke up, got out of bed and walked down to my basement to find a couple of inches of man-made water in the basement (including the laundry room). This was courtesy of a burst kitchen pipe, so as a matter course after the water was drained out (note, do not pick up a live computer plug that is submerged in water) and before I moved some of my stuff out, I dug out a bunch of manuscripts from my ginormous slushie pile, which ultimately were two "completed" novellas, another novella that is turning out to be a four volume series and two short stories. Long story short, pretty sure if my basement didn't flood, I probably wouldn't be sitting here two years later typing out this blog post.
2} My dining room and YouTube. Seriously. I mean, seriously. My dining room, because that's where I had to relocate my manly man-cave for the second half of 2021 to do all of my writing and what not. You Tube, because I was on the main floor of the house, and since I'm a manly man who needs peace and quiet to write, and there was no way it was gonna be found with a noisy living room and equally noisy kitchen, I had to break my personal rule of not listening to music while writing. Thus YouTube, which consisted mostly of all kinds of classical/Medieval music from almost every single string instrument played (no, really), to all kinds of RPG music (aka role playing games like D&D or Magic: The Gathering) and all kinds of fantasy music and movie soundtracks. For this book alone, I listened to at least 25+ hours of music. Overall, I theorize that roughly 60+ hours of music streaming from YouTube passed in and out of my head that summer.
3} My family. This goes without saying that my family put up with my long hours spent writing, knowing that a happy, slightly off-kiltered father inching ever so closer to 60!, is a more malleable father indeed.
4} Facebook. Mostly due to the writing group that I am a member of, who has given me very sound and practical advice over the years, to which I am gratefully indebted. Also, a solitary shout out to a particular member of that writer's group whose nom-de-plume is Ramona Mainstrom (specializes in romance) who was able to create a viable tag line/short blurb/long blurb from the initial blurb that I had posted in our group. I did some tiny tweaking to get a couple more salient points in, but 98% of it was her, thus the need to give credit where credit is due.
5} My Muse and my Conscience. And finally, where would I be if I didn’t give thanks to the always lovely and perpetually effervescent Muse and my rancorous Conscience, who decided that pushing me into the abyss of unfulfilled ‘what-ifs’ was exactly what I needed to manually jump-start this very fulfilling, if not yet financially rewarding, side hustle.
And I finish it up by giving links to my Amazon page and my Book Blog page, of which the later I think needs to be radically tweaked in the coming months, but that's another post for another time.
So, there you have it. A simple, yet slightly skewered acknowledgment page for my upcoming novella. I think the only credits left to add will be the formatter's d/b/a and the graphic designer's d/b/a. Beyond that, the next headache left will be accessing my US Copyright account after three years of non-use, as well starting the KDP process (nooooooooooo!), and maybe one or two other platforms as well.
Monday, October 16, 2023
Episode #193: Thinking. Is. Good!
This post is another fine outstanding example of creating something out of a few hundred words that were nuked to Orion's Belt. Or...or....or....realizing that the previous post was gobbledy-gook a nano-second after pressing the "publish" button, then come back an hour later and nuking said post to the previously mentioned star cluster.
Anywho, we decided to give a few writing updates, instead of a dull post about podcasts (what I listen to and how etc), because what I listen to isn't as exciting as what I'm writing.
So things are starting to settle down at the villa, as all the familial obligations and the medical obligations, save for lab work, are basically completed and we can concentrate on getting our Average American Novella published. A few weeks ago, I'd written a post containing the tag line, short blurb and long blurb for my novella, as well as trying to decide what the title should be {see here}. Suffice to say, we've come up with a title: "The Lie Reveals The Truth". So yay to everyone who had contributed their suggestions/votes for the title, and I will have a special shout-out contained in the acknowledgements for a fellow writer who did a great job in turning my original blurb, with a tiny bit of help on my part, to what you see in that previous post.
So really, the only things left on my checklist to complete are: a short acknowledgment section, a short interior blurb section about me and the infamous copyright page, which will fortunately be much, much shorter than the one for one of my short story collections {that one took up about a half page as every previous appearance had to be properly credited}. I also took the liberty of compiling a list on what I want the cover to potentially look like. I figured that being prepared this time will be less of a headache than simply saying, "Well....maybe."
I'm still shooting for an end-of-year release, but this hinges on what the schedules of the graphic designer and formatter look like. Worst case scenario, we get this bad boy released in the spring.
And now, the world famous Hot Mess.
As I'd mentioned in a previous post, my planned trilogy has blown up into a four volume series. This really wasn't originally planned to be a four volume series, but the way everything was unfolding {#1 is the kidnapping, #2 is the chase to recapture the hostage, #3 is the chase 2.0}, the realization that there was no intelligent way to keep it at three volumes. With the two previous volumes clicking it at 26 chapters +/-, it would be sacrilegious to saddle volume three with 35+/- chapters and two plot climaxes: the aforementioned chase 2.0 and the final encounter.
Since I'm a weird stats nut {I've actually mellowed out over the years. honestly}, I figure I would throw a few strange factoids at everyone.
Total word count as 10/16/23 sits at 290,195, which expands out to 65 chapters/640 pages. Originally, the amount I was handwriting versus what I was transcribing was a ratio of 1 1/2 pages written to 1 page typed. In the past sixteen months {yes, you read correctly. I started this bad boy June '22}, the ratio has climbed steadily upwards. Presently I'm transcribing chapter 66 and I'm currently on handwritten pg 16, which now equals 10 1/2 pages typed. I'm kind of at a loss to adequately explain why the differential is so much, except maybe that I write somewhat large {probably the computer equivalent of 14-15 pt}, very clear and concise. The large text part is directly due to me getting rid of 30 years worth of cramping my handwriting in order to fill out forms/reports concisely.
Right now, the chapter count seems to be on track, in that #3 starts at chapter 50, so I should be finishing this volume at chapter 75 +/-. To extrapolate this nonsense even further, my prediction for a final three volume word count is 350k, and for ha-ha's, an overall four volume word count of 500k. And trust me, I will revisit this prediction when all is said and done.
So this is where I currently sit with my two major writing projects, and I actually have at least two other novellas and another short story collection waiting for me in the pipeline. The road to written word salvation is fraught with headaches {need caffeine}, hair pulling {zircon encrusted tweezers and electric razor please} and hangry-ness {we started a diet this past week. a photo was the catalyst that helpfully pointed out just exactly how I presently look}. But the old local {CT} business slogan always applies at the end: Peace Of Mind, Guaranteed.
Have a splendorous week!
Monday, October 9, 2023
Episode #192: How To....Exactly What?
Life sometimes, oddly enough, gets in the way of life. Through the miracle known as planning things out, I got the end result that I was not really expecting, all because I had things perfectly planned out, which led to the title of this post.
See if you can follow my warped logic along with me:
My PCP, after 31+ years, retired effective June 1st; being the procrastinator that I am, wasn't able to hook with two new doctors until this October; with appointments in the second week.
Had my high school reunion this past weekend. Prior to the actual event, planned out that I would pick up the wife the day off and take her back to the campsite day after; picked up wife day off, had a decent time, then took her back the day after. Sounds simple right?
The plan also called for me to do my grocery shopping today, the day of this post. But....the first doctor's appointment is an hour after lunch (issue #1 &2), which causes me to move up my grocery shopping to the actual morning (issue #3), instead of the afternoon, because who knows how long my first appointment with my new doctor will take.
Meanwhile, in blog land, through a combination of excellent planning and neglecting to see the bigger picture, we are typing out a typical "man-splaining excuse laden" man-child rant for a post. In other words, the "I-am-dying-from-a-sinus-headache-and-I-need-constant-attention" whine for a blog post.
To sum it up, the one time that I decided to actually plan things out for a relaxing weekend, reality steps in, pulls me up with a major wedgie and says, "I don't think so."
Have a splendiferous Monday!
Monday, October 2, 2023
Episode #191: How To Self Publish-A Bob & Ted Review
While I was trying to think of a topic to write about, I discovered that I haven't done a Bob & Ted review since late July. So I figured, why not? I also figured that, since I'm making the final preparations to drop around four and a half Benjamins to produce another book, this would be a great topic to have our resident flakes Bob & Ted perform a review.
Wish me luck.
~~~~~
We find Ted sitting at his desk, jotting some notes and double checking his checklist, for he decided that today was to be the day that he was gonna take that giant first step and self publish his how-to book called "How To Earn A Full Day's Pay At Any Job By Working Less Than Five Minutes Per Day."*
"Okay, let's see: Money? Check! Graphic designer? Check! Formatter? Check! Copyright registration? Check! No interference from Bob? Ch--"
"Hey! Ted! Teddy-boy! My main man Theo! Theodore!"
Pinching his eyes with his cheek muscles, Ted lets rip with a noxious release of internal combustion remnants and says, "What can I not do for you...Bob."
Since sarcasm of any kind is lost on the man-child that is Bob, Bob continues on his path of most resistance. "So Ted, have you got that thirteen page report on why we should not change our company acronym from D.O.L.T. to D.U.L.L. completed? You know I don't like it when I'm made to look like the fool."
"Yes, Bob. Here it is Bob. Just like you wanted Bob."
Bob snatches the report from Ted's hand, and as he's perusing the contents of the report, he notices some strange bits of paper covered with markings, strewn across the desk.
He closes the report and asks, "What's that strewn across your desk?"
"Notes, Bob. Haven't you ever seen handwritten notes before?"
"So that's what that is? Must be some kind of new invention. So, you have these because, why?"
Ted internally facepalms, but outwardly, he says, "Because I'm getting ready to self publish my book."
Bob leans over and sees the title of the book Ted is pointing at. "Pffft. Who in the wide, wide world of mediocrity is going to read that?"
"You would be amazed at the amount of people who would buy a self-help book like this. It's gonna be a best seller."
"Humph," says Bob as he tries to read what Ted has written but is failing miserably due to his 4th grade comprehension skills. "So, you gonna go through one of them places where they charge you an arm and two legs to publish your book?"
Stunned at the overflowing bucket of stupid oozing from Bob's pores, Ted takes a very deep breath to clear his intake valves before speaking. "Bob....that would be spending money unwisely. I am not like my employer who spends lavishly on moronically stupid things while nickel and dimeing on things that matter. I spend my money wisely on professionals. You do know what a professional is, correct?"
Snorting derisively, he says, "Of course I do. After all, I am a professional, whereas you're just a peon slaving away for a paycheck of slight renown."
Ignoring Bob's contempt, Ted continues. "Well, I want this done right, and since I cannot even remotely perform what I want, I'm spending my money wisely, with reputable professionals in their chosen field. Unlike you, who spent gobs of money to publish a....steaming pile of....provocativeness with a vanity publisher of ill-repute. Tell me Bob, have you earned your $4k investment back yet?"
Bob again snorts derisively and turns read from embarrassment. "Well, you know, selling books takes time."
"Really Bob? Takes time, Bob? Bob, your book is so putridly bad, people only buy it when they want to give their farm animals their weekly dose of man-made fiber. Beyond that, your book simply doesn't even rise to the level of a Dick & Jane primer."
"Oh yeah, Mr. Smarmypants? You think that you're hot stuff with your book, do ya? Well let me tell you something. I---"
Ted cut Bob off at the thighs. "Bob. I have talent. You don't. I'm going to use a reputable publisher like KDP, Draft2Digital and Smashwords. And I'm going to take my time doing it. I worked on this bad boy for over five years and I'm very proud of it. Tell me, are you proud of your book, Bob?"
Bob got so red in the face that smoke started billowing from his ears and steam from under his collar. Ted waited a few more minutes to see if anything else was going to happen, but nothing did. So he casually turned back to his computer to finish typing out the particulars to the cover designer about his book cover.
Ted was very happy with his book and the fact that it was already drumming up a lot of pre-orders, based on his highly successful blog called, "How To Turn Your Current Job Into Your Side Hustle".**
Bob on the other hand, was locked into his office, having a meltdown about not being the best book writer ever.
*not a real book, so far as I know. but in today's strange Amazon world, anything is possible.
**not a real blog, so far as I know, but in today's get rich quick schemes, there should be one.
Monday, September 25, 2023
Episode #190: When A Trilogy Becomes A Series, The Brain Cries, "What?!"
Presently, I'm about half to two-thirds of the way through volume the 3rd of my Hot Mess trilogy, when a troubling/intriguing question began rearing its fugly head: should I extend this trilogy by another volume?
The reason why this question is starting to muscle its way to the forefront is simple: 1} the chapters are becoming a tad longer due to the complexity of the various plot-lines; 2} I haven't even reached the climax of the third ending of the plot; which means that 4} haven't even thought about the actual ending of the story.
However, the engine that is really driving the decision to extend to a 4th and final volume is how the first two ended, with the third following close behind. To whit:
Book the 1st: the pivotal climax is the successful attack to kidnap the male MC;
Book the 2nd: the chase by the male MC's family to recapture him, with the climax being the actual battle to unsuccessfully rescue him;
Book the 3rd: the chase by both parties to retrieve the male MC, which climaxes with one party being successful and the other not;
There is no real way to squeeze two events, which are to retrieve the male MC at the halfway point to the kingdom AND the finale, which is another attempt at rescuing the male MC, with as yet undetermined outcome, without making that 3rd book twice the size of the first two (the first two will have roughly 25-28 chapters each).
Thus the need for Book the 4th, in that if the first two books ended with two semi-cliffhangers and the third shaping up to have another semi-cliffhanger, a 4th is needed to conclude everything.
Which is why the brain is crying tears of pain, with the pain being that the brain churned out 610 pages of text, which translates to 276,563 words spread out over 63 chapters. But try as the mighty brain wanted to, they couldn't avoid the hard realization that a fourth volume would be needed, which in turn would probably push the word count to 450k +/- and a page count of 825 +/-. By the way, I'm going to use this prediction as my overall goal.
In all honesty, I never really intended to write a fourth volume. Shoot, I never intended to write more than one book to begin with for this story. I figured that it would be the proverbial, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, type of novel clocking in with a 100k+ word count and 200+ pages. But the more that I really got into fleshing out the entire story and characters, the more I realized that one volume simply wasn't going to cut it.
So it got to be a viscous circle of the more I fleshed it out, the longer and more complex it became, which in turn upped the ante from one to two to three and now to four volumes once everything was said and done. I'm not disappointed by any stretch of the imagination, but I never really did think I had it in me to churn out so many words for what's turning out to be an epic low-fantasy story. Which I'm very proud of.
Looking back on the completion dates of the chapters written, I have seen that I have spent well over fifteen months working on this story (June 2022) and I'm shooting for a January 2024 completion date. Kind of a wild ride for a story that had to be rescued from a flooded basement, dried out and rewritten from the very beginning. And to those who are curious, this story was originally 84+ pages in length when I had given up on it, and for comparison, the point where I had originally given up on it is now located roughly 150+ pages deep into volume one.
Have a fantastic Monday and remember, it's only the second day of the week and Taco Tuesday with Hump Day Wednesday is just around the corner before the home stretch of the weekend.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, September 18, 2023
Episode #189: Once Again, The Hardest Part Of The Story Is Done
As the above title states, this post is something of a repeat, in that we're posting a revamped version of the blurb for my Average American Novella. Apparently, after getting some sobering advice in my writer's group, which included the realization on my part that my blurb was suggesting something completely different, we needed to do a complete overhaul.
So, with a large chunk of help from a fellow writer friend (who will get an acknowledgment credit when all is said and done), I was able to create a tag line, a short blurb, and a longer blurb for my Average American Novella. The title options are still the same: The Hidden Truth and The Lie Reveals The Truth.
Up first, the tag followed by the short blurb and finally, the long blurb:
Tag lineRevenge is a brutal game, but Dmitri is playing for keeps.Short BlurbSoul collecting is both a dangerous and lucrative business, and no one knows better than the netherworld’s premier soul collector, Dmitri. Creating enemies is part of the job, but when a simple favor for a friend turns out to be a set-up, Dmitri finds himself in the cross-hairs of a contract hit. Tangled in a web of sec, lies and violence, the collector must do whatever it takes to survive.Survival is a brutal game, but Dmitri is playing for his life in this fast paced dark fantasy.Long BlurbAgainst his better judgment, the Sulfur Underground’s premier soul collector Dmitri, agrees to do a small favor for a friend. At least, it was supposed to be small: deliver a package and walk away. Instead, he finds himself on the wrong end of a contract hit.When Kaitlyn fast talks her way into tagging along, Dmitri has no idea she’s in on the contract and the pair soon become more than accomplices. A lot more. But when Kaitlyn has a change of heart and confesses both her participation as well as her love, Dmitri doesn’t know who or what to trust.With the odds becoming increasingly stacked against him, Dmitri must trust his heart and instincts if he wants to survive and keep reaping what the world continues to sow.
Let me know what you think in the comments. These blurbs fit better with the basic fantasy premise, while the previous blurb gave off a vibe of being a thriller novella.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, September 11, 2023
Episode #188: A Unique Story Always Enriches The Culture {4}
The last post of our series involves the very real concept of "world building". Now any writer worth their iodized salt does world building for their particular story. Not in the traditional sense of the concept, where one builds an incredibly rich and detailed world for their fantasy/paranormal story; but more in the non-traditional sense, where one builds a believable world for their story but doesn't go completely off the rails.
A decent example of this would be the world that I am creating piecemeal for my trilogy. It's not overly detailed with a backstory that permeates/affects the entire story (think any good fantasy series that you've read in the past decade or so), but detailed enough to get the job done and keep the reader engaged.
So I'm going to try, with this final post of the series, to describe what I've created for both sides of this trilogy. For the sake of simplicity, the first side that will be touched up will be called "Earth, with the other side being called "The Pod Planet". Also for simplicity's sake, I will state that I did perform some needed research for both sides of this trilogy, because a story is incredibly dull without a modicum of research added to the mix.
~~~~~
1} Earth: I would be telling an untruth if I'd stated that creating this version of Earth was easy peasy lemon squeezy. It was not, by any stretch of anyone's imagination. Let's start off by going into a very short summary of how I used the Aztec empire as a starting point for two of my MC's: Jhon and Adeola.
Now one of the things that I enjoy creating in my stories, are non-traditional business entities. All of these non-traditional business entities feature a particular noun that normally wouldn't be used that way. In this particular instance, the Aztecs were turned into a very savvy and quite the large business entity, albeit extremely cruel and unforgivably ruthless. In essence, I gave them a very lucrative side hustle involving all aspects of gambling, and simply worked in a few of the more unsavory parts of their culture.
Like human sacrifices as the ultimate payment for basically an impossible to pay gambling debt (you know, the kind of debt where you're worth more dead than alive). Complete with the requisite paperwork for life insurance policies etc, so that the families of the degenerate gambler will no longer be subjected to harassment by debt collectors. Maybe.
I did not pursue the same philosophy with Jhon's wife, Myla. Even though she was originally an unwilling resident of the Pod Planet, she did reside on Earth for a number of horrifying years. So by the time we cross paths with the Ventura's, they are working for a small profitable company called Dandelion Inc (the original title of this story was called "Dandelion Tears), with Jhon being the public face of the company, while Myla was working as a relatively efficient debt collector.
The reasoning behind the two Incan ladies, Ilka & Bella, being called "ladies-in-waiting" and initially acting servile but gaining confidence as the story progresses, calling Myla their Queen, is due to the secret mission they're on: reuniting Myla with her sister the Pod Queen. Now regarding the Incan culture et al, I didn't delve too much into it, beyond inferring that the civilization was decimated by wars and the like. I kept the references to that culture to the basics, like language, location and some mythology. Also, these two are considered to be decidedly non-human entities, with Bella becoming a spirit/symbiont that sometimes can be seen by others.
Now given the fact that overall, we're playing very fast and extremely loose with the concept of time, it should come to no one's surprise that horses are being used for basic transportation. And it should come to no one's surprise that the horses come from a distant past measured by decades/centuries, with references to previous centuries such as the 18th and 20th.
Before I delve into the world of the Pod Planet, I would like to mention that virtually all of the main players on both sides possess telepathy with various degrees of skill levels. Even the three humans involved (since everyone else is distinctly a non-human of some repute) have some ability to use telepathy. And because this is a fantasy, everyone has a special skill set that is uniquely tied to them.
2} The Pod Planet: The Pod Planet was a little easier to create, since I had only the barest of outlines from the original story to work with. By "barest", I mean from the original story I had maybe one page in total to create this world from. So with that being said, let's put this subject to the side for a moment, in order to focus on the one main character that is the originator for the rest of the players who call the Pod Planet home.
The Pod Queen. As mentioned previously, the Pod Planet has a monarchy that is strictly matriarchal in its ruling structure. Men exclusively control the power behind the throne, via an entity called The Royal Entourage, as well as fulfilling all roles connected to the palace and government (think of Parliament after Oliver Cromwell). These two seemingly irreconcilable power structures are the driving force behind the machinations of the Pod Queen. A reverse coup d'etat if you will, with the monarchy looking to neuter its version of Parliament.
The Pod Planet itself, while outwardly looking like the typical late Renaissance empire, is anything but that. Instead, it's a blended empire of ancient and modern technology, and fantasy/paranormal For example, animal transportation is used, yet, they have scientists from all fields. Communication is either oral, written, telepathy, or in some cases, modern video, between human and non-human. And just like the majority of the main players in the story, the Pod Queen has a hair spirit, otherwise known as a symbiont.
The Pod Planet is also home to a large population of non-natives, both voluntary and involuntary. For example, two humans who were promoted to voluntary citizens of the Pod Planet, were originally from Earth, as former members of the military. Nyx, who is very much a major component of the story, was also originally an outlier of the non-voluntary type (as mentioned in a previous post), but now is a voluntary outlier of a different sort.
So as the story progresses and with more of the action being centered on the Pod Planet, the breadth and scope of exactly what the Pod Planet is will surely increase. So far, we have confined our descriptions to what the palace and its inhabitants are; the main palace chambers and antechambers; the Queen's bedchambers; and a fraction of the landscape.
I certainly hope that you enjoyed my short series about the inner workings of my Hot Mess trilogy. It definitely was an enlightening journey for me, as I usually have problems in trying to describe most aspects of a given story that I'm either currently writing or have written. Sometime expressing one's self via the written word can be far more rewarding than simply trying to talk it up.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
Monday, September 4, 2023
Episode #187: A Unique Culture Always Enriches The Story {3}
In today's post we'll be talking about the various traits/personalities that I have graced my characters with. While I will be primarily talking about the MCs, I will also be touching upon a few of the SCs as well.
Even though all of my characters have traits/personalities that make them truly unique, for all but three of my female characters, both MC and SC, I have christened them with hair spirits. I have always been fascinated with the concept of symbionts, so I decided to see just how far I could go with it. I have already used the hair spirit trope, with some degree of success, in two of my published novels, The Inner Sibling and The Friendship Has Begun (which I really need to get restarted on again), but this will be the first time that I've really fleshed them out as unique sentient beings in their own right.
Of the remaining three female MC's, Bella and Ilka, do not have hair spirits. They do have other basic traits, of which I will elaborate on later in this post. The third, Nyx, while she does not have a hair spirit per se, she does borrow her mother's from time to time, and she does play host to a pair of symbiont tattoos, which I will also elaborate on later in this post.
With the very small background dump out of the way, let us now explore the remaining cast of characters. Oh, one other thing that I should note: telepathy is a (mostly) natural life skill for all.
1} Jhon: Jhon is basically a Caucasian guy with no special skills beyond being an immortal, a high threshold for pain, a tolerance of a liquid edible called blood, and an extremely vivid storyteller, among other traits. Jhon became who he was due to a very extensive history, both public and private, with the Aztecs.
2} Myla: was an escapee from the Pod Planet, who originally was sent to the Pod as a captured slave (?). She was genetically modified to be a hybrid with vampire tendencies. I haven't really decided what her ethnicity should be, beyond being a few lighter shades of what her sister is (who is currently unknown to her). Her hair spirit is similar to her, personality-wise, in that she takes no prisoners, is stealthy and does not tolerate any kind of nonsense from her at all. Is also genetically different as per a previous post.
3} Ilka and Bella: both are members of the Incan empire. Petite in stature, but ginormous in personality, supremely confident in themselves and in each other, telepathic, warlike (Bella) and studious (Ilka). Are currently playing the role of ladies-in-waiting to Myla, who they consider to be their queen. Also, they do not have hair spirits, and one is genetically predisposed as per a previous post.
4} Adeola: Jhon's ex-wife, warrior-like, and still works for the Aztecs. Nationality is unknown due to her skin color being aqua-marine, does not have a hair spirit, highly intelligent and telepathic, and is/was mentally/emotionally/spiritually/physically connected to her ex. Also is one of three mentioned in a previous post as being genetically different.
5} Macha: The aforementioned sister of Myla, who is officially known as the Pod Queen. She is what most people would call an "identical twin", right down to the toned physique and fiery red hair. Ethnicity is unclear, but she also has a hair spirit, who does not have a filter and is loyal to a fault, sometimes to her own detriment.
6} Nyx: Her mother was mentioned previously as being Scandinavian, as she was the beginning of the genealogical line, but she is the proverbial end. Ethnicity could be either from Central or South America. Does not have a hair spirit, but uses her mother's from time to time. Was genetically modified to be both a hunter and a breeder prior to her assimilation to the Pod Planet. Does have a pair of symbiont tattoos to who she plays host to. Is telepathic and is discovering new powers from time to time (such as the ability to turn a mere human immortal, with certain caveats).
7} Thanatos: Nyx's foster son who grew up on the Pod Planet as an orphan. Does have basic telepathic powers, but has a skill set second to none, who has traveled to other planetary worlds to acquire more knowledge.
8} Roberto (Black) & Melissa (White/Hispanic mix): true blue North Americans (probably US) who are current members of the military who were captured by Nyx and company while out on a camping trip. After a horrific week spent as "unpersons", they were offered the opportunity to become immortal by Nyx, which they took. While the both of them are learning how their new bodies work, Melissa managed to acquire a hair spirit, who is very much a newbie.
9} Lady Nordic: As mentioned previously, she is the prototypical Scandinavian-Nordic person (blonde with blue eyes, pale skin and healthy physique). Beyond that though, she is someone completely unique. While she doesn't have a hair spirit in the traditional sense, she does have a wooden cedar vine mirror that helps out from time to time. Also has telepathic skills second to none, with both human and non-human entities, and quite a bit of medical skills.
10} And finally, the last major player in the story is everyone's favorite canine from Sulfur City: Cerberus. I actually did a bit of Wikipedia research on the three headed dog, because in the original version of the story, at one key scene in the second novel, I had other dogs involved. So naturally, down a rabbit hole I did explore. But anyways, I decided to tweak the dogs to make them quite knowledgeable and quite indestructible. Among other things, they can understand virtually any type of verbal/non verbal language from any human/non-human, and I gave them the ability to act like normal dogs.
11} Other assorted secondary characters. I do want to note that the hair spirits are really symbiotic in nature, which is why, I believe, they can get away with saying certain things and doing certain things more often than others. Having said that, I would like to touch upon the assorted secondary characters that are strewn about the story.
There are four horses that are named: Blanco, Akhal, Xenia and Carlos, all of which have telepathic powers. While Xenia is a bit of a flake, Carlos carries a bottomless saddlebag that contains whatever you made need at a given moment, while the other two have distinctive personalities that come off like Burt (serious) and Ernie (laid back). There are three humanoids who are mute, thus talk in generic sign language, and rudimentary telepathy; a slave/lover for one of the main characters, and the aforementioned tattoos for that same main character.
Overall, I do enjoy creating characters that are very much out of the norm in stories these days. What I do is cultural appreciation, as I'm not trying to talk about a particular character's country origin and what they've gone through on a personal level, only a basic background that required an above average amount of research (like I did with the Incas and the Aztecs). In fact, for just about all of my characters, I did an above average amount of research for what was needed. When I do write about something, regardless of whatever kind of noun it happens to be, I always do the research required so that I don't come off like an idiot.
Doing the required research for the mini-world building that was needed for this trilogy will be the final topic of choice for this series. Until next time, have a safe and sane start to your week.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
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