Episode #253: Me Plus Automobile Equals Stressful Anxiety...For Others

Christmas 2024, where metal is king because the real thing is just too darn expensive (among other peripheral issues) this year. Plus, from what I understand, it took less than an hour to put up and decorate.

This week, I have a topic that strikes fear and stress in the members of my immediate family: automobiles.

Specifically, me and anything to do with automobiles.

First off, let me admit to this one important and highly salient fact: I am a 100% complete Richard as a passenger. I am actually proud of the fact that the moment I got my license at 16 (going on for what will be 44 years of being a menace on the roads), I turned into the mega-Kevin of the passenger universe.

If my ass wasn't planted behind the steering wheel, I became the kind of passenger that you would pull over to the side of a dark desert highway and push out of your car with a pointed metallic object. I have mellowed out in my older age, but I still wear my thorny crown with pride. Except on the rare occasions that I'm a passenger in my daughter's car, then I absolutely behave myself.

Now, onto the main topic of this post: my driving.

I make no excuses for my positively thuggish driving, as I was taught to drive by my dearest mother when I was a lad. Now she just drives bad. Period. End of discussion. Unfortunately her bad habits had also worn off on both of my children as well (she taught them), but that's a story for another time.

The key difference, in my humble opinion, between thuggish and aggressive, is that thuggish driving requires spatial awareness and acceptance that you drive like a jerk, but not jerky enough to draw the attention of Officer Unfriendly. Aggressive driving requires no acceptance of personal responsibility and a high level of narcissism.

I will also admit that my thuggish driving is an equal opportunity destroyer of cars. It really doesn't matter what kind of car that I drive, my driving habit remains the same, thuggish but obeying the basic rules of the road.

Here's a short list of the cars that I have owned/driven over the preceding four decades of life, most of which were driven into the ground/destroyed in an accident. In no particular chronological order, I have owned/driven the following:

Ford Pinto; Grand Torino; Chevy Malibu Wagon; Acclaim; Camaro; Hyundai; Ford Escort; Oldsmobile Alero; Nissan Altima; Toyota Celica (manual); Monarch; Ford Ranger.

Pretty sure that I've owned way more than 12, but you get the basic idea. 

In general, I do cause a lot of anxiety and stress with anyone who happens to be a passenger in any car that I drive. To be honest, I have to be one of the only people that I know that absolutely tolerates backseat drivers whenever I drive. I had people who straight up tell me that they will not ride with me due to the way I assault the road.

And I do not differentiate between highway and residential/town/city driving. Having resided in a suburban area located just outside the capitol for about fifty years and having worked in said capitol area for about twenty-two years, my driving has remain consistently the same: thuggish but obeying the house* rules of the road.

*When you drive in the city, normal rules of the road do not apply, but those that were modified due to certain circumstances do.

Now, lest you think that I drive severely stupid on residential streets, I do not. I am very well known in my local neighborhood, so I actually make sure to drive uber-responsible (e.g. posted speed limit or below, eyes open so wide that my entire head disappears). And if you think that after reading all of this that your opinion of my driving is low, just wait when I decide to tell you of my adventures as a pedestrian. BWHAHAHAHAH!

In general, I scare people with my driving, whether that other person is a fellow raging maniac behind the wheel, or a trapped passenger beside me. I drive badly and where I live in Connecticut, I am not considered to be an anomaly, but a normal member of the automotive society. If this was another time long ago, I probably would be the model for those news stories about bad drivers.

One more aspect of my driving you should know about that puts me a cut above everyone else save my two adult children, is that I still remember the majority of the back roads in my state from my days borrowing/returning newspapers/microfilm to various academic institutions. So not only can I still get from border to border to border without taking the highway, but I still remember what route numbers go N/S & E/W and where I generally is in a given part of this state.

Sadly, knowledge like this is rarely passed on to the younger generation these days. I mean, you should be able to in a pinch read an actual road map to get from point A to point B (last real road trip I had a road atlas with me and we were able to plan everything out down to the very last detail), but just like having to use an actual telephone, it's a very lost art.

So, how are your driving skills these days? Good, bad, average, or just so ugly that you're the proverbial answer to the insult of "you got your license out of a cereal box"? Inquiring minds might want to know, if only to avoid you as much as humanly possible on the roadways.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #252: Where Oh Where, Are My Blog Words?

We all need a little flashback to warmer times right now, and Happy little flowers can often bring the warm fuzzies to lighten the mood.

About once about every five months, I open up a blank blog screen, only to find myself staring at said screen and thinking to myself, "And I am here because....why?"

Which as a person who dabbles with the various parts of grammar is not a good question to ask myself. So when I sat down in front of the computer, and asked myself that very exact question, I knew a micro-second later that this was going to be ONE OF THOSE POSTS. The kind of post that starts off with good intentions but immediately pivots to being exactly like a t.v. series that jumps the shark when it comes up with a dream sequence that immediately wipes out the previous season's plots.

So the first thing I did (unnaturally for me) was to stare at my vast record collection to see anything popped out to me for a topic. Unfortunately, beyond noticing that I have several Jim Reeves records, nothing jumpstarted my brain cells. So we continued with our mental wandering to see what else could jumpstart my brain cells.

I briefly thought about giving a writing update, but instead I began ruminating about what kind of contract I would enforce on anyone who would want to option the movie rights to my series (you can spurt your liquid refreshment at the computer screen now). T.L.;D.R.: my series actually checks off a multitude of very important identity boxes in order to be given proper consideration for dipping into the cesspool of Hollywood.

So, after making that right turn at Truth or Consequences, we continued on our vainglorious journey for a writing topic. We briefly stopped at the music depot, to see what kind of topics, if any, they had for sale, but alas poor Yorrick, I knew him Horatio. So we stepped out of the music depot and thought about going to Homeless Depot or the railroad depot, but instead we made a stop at the mail depot.

Unfortunately, beyond getting a very thick guidebook to....drum roll please....MEDICARE! and griping about lost mail (that's a mind-numbing story within itself) and T-Mobile (another mind-numbing story within itself), nothing of any political import was to be had. So, yikes! and away we went to trample through the forest with our band of stoic manly men.

After trampling with my band of stoic manly men, we decided to exit the forest with blisters on my fingers and bunions on my toes in order to continue my search for a blog topic. Now if you've made this far and you're scratching your head wondering just exactly what the blog topic is and where are my blog words, let me tell you my dirty little secret.

To borrow from Jerry Seinfeld, this blog post is about absolutely nothing. Buuuuuut, it's a nothing that managed to bring a smile to your tired face on this mediocre Monday morning, because my friends, you read a post about nothing in particular. Unless you count someone dropping over a dozen pop culture references to be actually something, then you read a post about something.

Either way, you found a way to occupy anywhere from sixty seconds to one-hundred five seconds of your day absorbing a piece of fiction that contained absolutely nothing of import. Which means that my job is done here until next Monday, when we get to do this all over again not live in front of the studio audience, but via the compact disc. Or cassette, depending on what decade I would like to briefly reside in.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #251: Cover Me Softly To Better Music Quality

This was taken on one of my few full scale (for me) hikes in Cedar Mountain this year. Legs are to the point where going up an incline greater than 1% causes great pain, but the peace and tranquility I do get in the aftermath is well worth the aggravation.

This week's post was inspired by a mediocre e-zine article that I had via the M$N news aggregate that listed their version of a top 20 cover song list, and one of the covers mentioned was "Boys of Summer" done by a mediocre alt-rock band called The Ataris.

Now I've listened to that cover and that mediocre version is the only standout of the mediocre collection surrounding that song. 

Stating my opinion about a mediocre cover song by a mediocre band perfectly segues into my personal opinion that cover songs fall into three distinct categories: versions done by quality indie bands/artists that exceed the original; versions done by known bands that equal the original, even when they put an unusual twist; and versions done by known bands that sound like they were phoned in or done to make a quick buck.

Four artists that immediately come to mind that fall into the first grouping are Post Modern Jukebox, Violet Orlandi, Frog Leap Studios and Broken Peach. They managed to harness the power of YouTube and parlay that exposure into live stream concerts, higher quality videos, original songs, original full length c.d.s (the former has 10 c.d.s out, two have released/are releasing their debut and Frog Leap has released about 80+/- full length downloadables) and tours. I highly recommend checking them out as all four are fantastic artists.

The second grouping, known artists that have done covers that have equaled/surpassed the originals, are the ones that I will truly rave about, because their covers show that they actual care about the final product. Some examples are as follows:

1. I Fought The Law by the Dead Kennedys: This particular song actually got me hooked on the DKs back in the early 2000's. It's a skewered version that features the events surrounding the deaths of activist Harvey Milk and S.F. mayor George Moscone.
2. In Bloom by Sturgill Simpson: This is one of the few cover versions of a Nirvana song that absolutely knocks it out of the park. It's moody, dark and in my personal opinion, is how the song should've been played originally.
3. Boys Of Summer by The Hooters: This is the song that triggered me to write this post. This cover by The Hooters, is performed in the way that I believe does this song justice: lightly dark, foreboding, melancholy for what was illicit for a brief moment in time. In my personal opinion, the song should've never been presented with an upbeat tempo.
4. Black Betty by Ram Jam: This was the best rework cover of a song that the artist never received a writer's credit for. The original was done by bluesman Leadbelly, so it was a down tempo bluesy kind of number. And for an added twist, Australian band Spider Bait did a very cool cover of the cover.

Now to present some examples of those who basically do covers to either phone it in or to make a quick buck. Sadly, these few examples are ones that get played a lot on commercial rock radio. There are a lot to choose from, since it seems that every well known band has done covers, with the majority of them being just average/mediocre. Note: there will be no links as I don't want to add any more to the seven I already have.

1. Whiskey In The Jar by Metallica: For me, this cover only stays true to the original lyrics and nothing else. Having grown up on Roger Whittaker (my father had odd tastes in music when I was a child), the original version of this song was a lively Irish folk tale, almost like a jig. The version by Metallica was something that just hurt my ears to listen to. Turning a song into a metal song doesn't instantly make it good...but it does give it the potential for it to be a money-maker/way for a metal band to keep their name in the public eye.
2. Everlasting Love by U2: This was strictly a cash grab/keep the name out there between releases. The original is an uptempo sub-three minute song that makes you want to sing along to. This bleechy cover does nothing for the listener, as it's bombastic arena rock at its absolute worst.
3. Last Kiss by Pearl Jam: Strictly a cash grab that offers no variation to the original. They turned a decent "teen death song" (a sub-genre in the late 50's that featured songs like this one and "Tell Laura I Love Her") into something that a no-talent person like myself could play blindfolded. The insipid drum beat sounds like it came straight from a recording studio from the same time period. Just. No.
4. I'm Down by Adrian Belew: This was, in my opinion, an uninspired version of the Beatles classic. It just really didn't do anything for me, and it was definitely suited as a "B" side to the "A" side of "Oh Daddy!" (Billboard 100 chart). I kind of put it up there with the uninspiring bootleg version performed by the Beastie Boys.

It's sad that one can remember the bad versions of well known songs more than the original versions of the same song. There are a lot of cover songs that I've heard over the decades, courtesy of college radio and internet radio stations like SomaFM and believe that at least 70% of them are really good, and this includes all genres that I've been exposed to over the decades. It's the remaining 30% that bothers me to the point of being exceptionally unbent, because it's often those 30% that get the most airplay.

So I hope you've enjoyed my pleasant little diatribe about cover songs, and if cover songs are your jam, please check out SomaFM. SomaFM is another link in the chain of the only good thing to come out of California: music. They have a channel that is called "Covers", which plays nothing but in all possible genres.

Happy Monday!

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #250: It''s A DVD Reality In A Downloadable World

I believe we need one final semi-real pic of Autumn in Connecticut until everything goes all the way to pot and becomes winter.

A few posts ago I touched upon how I'm currently expanding my c.d. collection by dipping my toes into the world of gently used music. This time around I plan to touch upon my nascent  (like I have exactly five dvds) DVD collection and how I'm doing it on the frugal end of the spectrum (i.e. gently used)

Presently, I have extremely eclectic tastes in movies, like none of that MCU or blockbuster stuff ever crosses my field of vision. Instead, I go for things like the odd action/adventure, noir, dark fantasy and the odd drama.

Note: roughly 95% of the movies that I like were originally discovered on the various sub channels of Starz, Showtime, HBO and Encore. You'd be amazed at the amount of quirky movies that no one cares about anymore on those channels.

For example, prior to adding to my collection with some used DVDs, I have the following films in my collection:

1. Drive Angry, featuring Nicholas Cage and Amber Heard: This is mostly a violent religious fantasy film, with Nicholas Cage portraying a man (John Milton) who escapes from Hell to rescue his granddaughter. The movie itself, at least that I can tell, is steeped in concepts of Hell, Satan and Redemption among other things. Believe it or not, most people give this move a 3/5 star rating.
2. 30th Anniversary collection of SchoolHouse Rock!: No further explanation needed (I also have the complete box set of the same).
3. Byzantium, featuring Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan: one of the better vampire films that came out of the early 2010s. Highly recommend it as this was compared to another excellent vampire film called Let The Right One In (watch either the original version in Norwegian with subtitles, or a very excellent American remake that takes place in Minnesota. Don't bother with the dubbed version).
4. The 13th Warrior, featuring Antonio Banderas: A very good film, in my opinion, that's set in the first millennia in the vast Nordic wastelands. To me, it feels like they drew on the old Icelandic saga of Beowulf to create this movie.

This is the extent of my very eclectic movie collection. I love movies that are mostly fantasy based but cover topics that intrigue me both as a writer and a reader, but as you can see, the collection is very tiny. The main reason is one that is always the major bugaboo when it comes to pursuing something that we like: money. 

I've always balked at paying high prices for movies (those mentioned above, except the boxed set, were in the $15-$20 range), and completely dismissed purchasing downloadable movies. I also wasn't too much of a fan of purchasing used movies, because for me, it was either new or nothing. But during this year, I softened my opposition to used movies when I started finding some faves in the used DVD selection at my public library. I was also re-introduced to the world of quality used merchandise when I had visited the Savers store (an upscale Salvation Army/Goodwill used good store) when I had decided to donate clothes that no longer fit me.

Another note: during my initial visit to that store, they had two high end sound/mixing boards for sale dirt cheap.

So in the past month, I decided to resume adding to my DVD collection by purchasing gently used DVDs of movies that I personally enjoyed throughout the decades. Here, in no particular order of importance, are the latest additions to my collection.

1. Luck # Slevin, featuring Josh Hartnett, Lucy Lui, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis: A very excellent NY based crime drama centered around a fixed horse race and revenge. What drew me to this movie was that it starred Josh Harnett, as at the time I was really into a Showtime limited series called The Penny Dreadful. If you like Victorian era drama centered around horror/fantasy, you'll love that series.
2. The Boondock Saints, featuring Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus: Another excellent crime drama movie about two brothers who believe that God choose them to rid the world of evil piqued my curiosity the multiple times that I had watched it. 
3. Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarrentino: This was a movie that I had searched out after watching Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. Another excellent thought provoking film by Tarrentino, this time about a heist that goes awry.
4. Eastern Promises, featuring Vigoo Mortensen, Naomi Watts and Vincent Cassell: I stumbled across this one sometime after watching Vigoo Mortensen in a previous crime drama film called A History of Violence (the opening sequence to that movie is not for the faint of heart, as it is quite disturbing). Viggo plays a cop who infiltrates the Russian Mafia, who runs into a nurse (Naomi Watts) who has possession of a baby and an incriminating diary that the late teen/young adult mother wrote about how she became pregnant.
5. Snatch, featuring, among others, Brad Pitt, Jason Statham, Dennis Farina and Benicio Del Torio. A very dark crime farce featuring the underground fight game and a very large diamond. This was a critically acclaimed follow-up to director Guy Ritchies debut of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Highly recommend both the movie and soundtrack.
6. 21 Grams, featuring Sean Penn, Naomi Watts and Benicio Del Toro. This was another movie that I had stumbled across during my movie channel surfing days. A quality suspense/thriller/vengeance movie that I highly recommend. Say what you want about Sean Penn's politics, but the man has grown way beyond his Jeff Spicolli character from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" as an actor.
7. Rounders, featuring Matt Damon, Edward Norton and John Malkovich. I would say that this a crime drama of sorts that centers around illegal card gambling. This was another movie that I had stumbled across, and one that I highly recommend.

Like I stated earlier, I have very eclectic tastes in movies, and except for the SchoolHouse Rock! collection, all R-rated. I can unequivocally state that there are PG and PG-13 movies that I do like and want to add to my collection, but those are mostly rooted in the decades from 1940 through the mid-to-late 1980s.

I hope you've enjoyed this snapshot of what I enjoy for video entertainment and here's wishing a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday for you and yours.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #249: Luddite(ing) My Way Through Life

Our legendary Oreo stylin', profilin' and modelin' a Hollweenie sweater for the Autumn/Winter season. Even at his ripe old age of 12, he's still got the energy to annoy everyone inside and outside the house.

No writing update to give this week, as everything is in a bit of flux, due to the dawning realization that extending a well thought out plan is a necessary evil. So I thought for this week's post, I delve into the Luddite history of myself.

note: I was going to link to a Wiki article about Luddites, but found this very odd one about Neo-Luddism instead.

So I'm one of those very strange fellows who did not immediately embrace the technology of today, but simply hung onto to the tried and true technology of yesterday. For example, I didn't start using computers until my first state job in 1996 (for those of you keeping track, that means I was 31 when I was dragged kicking and screaming to modern tech), which if you're curious, that was when M$ 6.0 was the O/S of choice.

Now because of this very late exposure to modern technology (remember this was when cellphones were just starting to become affordably to the masses), coupled with my normal reticence to new technology, I never really suffered from the original T.D.S (that's Technology Derangement Syndrome). I was quite happy with the computer technology I was using at the time (small floppy disks); the old music technology of vinyl and cassette (this was a bad idea in the long run, but yanno, 20/20); and not being connected to cellphones.

So I merrily skipped my way through life blissfully unconcerned about the rapidly evolving technological landscape. Because my mindset was "if ain't broke, why fix it", I often had to be dragged kicking, screaming and crying to use new technology because my old technology was rapidly becoming obsolete.

One of those aforementioned technologies was cellphones. For the past 22+ years, I've owned exactly 7 cell/smartphones: Sanyo (2), Samsung, Nokia, LG and Motorola (2). Each time I was dragged kicking and screaming to buy/upgrade my phone, because again, if it ain't broke....but instead it was the cellular carriers that broke (networks), discontinued (LG) or obsolete O/S that forced my hand. And I'm sure when O/S 11 for Android becomes obsolete, I'll be dragged kicking and screaming to upgrade my phone.

And for the record, I'm only lightly tethered to my phone via podcast apps, music apps and MLB app. I choose not to have socialized media beyond YouTube on my phone, and the amount of minutes spent per month talking/texting would probably equal two days max for the majority of my readers.

I'm also pretty much a major league caliber Luddite when it comes to finances. I do online banking only to print out my monthly statements or transfer money to a semi-active savings account (saves on monthly fees). I do money orders for all but three of my monthly bills, only because I never liked it when banks switched to automatic withdrawals the moment a check crossed their desk nor do I really trust any of the myriad of businesses I deal with to process EFTs properly.

In regards to the audio and video portion of my life, I have long accepted that CD's are here to stay and that I will never download music (my personal belief is that it's way too east to lose access to a download than it is for a physical copy). I still do vinyl and moved on quite nicely to DVDs. Fun thing about DVD's is that I can build a personalized collection simply by purchasing them used. Why drop $10+ on a DVD when you can purchase used for less than $4?

In general, I can state with a degree of certainty that I will always be a mix of Ludditism and Modernism when it comes to technology (I had a old microwave that used a dial for temperature and a dial for time. overall it lasted about two decades), if only because old technology, so long as it isn't connected to the more destructive parts of the World Wide Web, is still quite functional.

Have a fantastic week, and remember, to make it through your day, just channel your inner Gloria Gaynor.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #248: The Power Of Persuasion Can Be Insidious Indeed

For those of you who enjoy the Elf ruling the world from a Shelf, I bring you his cereal. Sugar Is Good Food.

The title of today's post can mean a multitude of things. For those of you who have a genuine sense of humor, you'll immediately get the gist. For everyone else, today's post is about how the arts & entertainment sector can surreptitiously remove your hard earned dollar from your locked wallet without you being the wiser.

But first, a writing update that features, rather annoyingly, a setback. My current saga, conveniently titled here as Hot Mess, has been forced to expand to one more volume. Between last week's post and the writing of this post, I've been forced to concede that in order to bring everything to a proper conclusion (including uniformity of content), I need to drift into one more volume. This pain is still fresh, and it's something I will elaborate on in a future post. 

With that out of the way, let's jump to the topic at hand: persuasion in the arts & entertainment field, with a specific look to books.

Oddly enough, this topic came to me in a roundabout way. I was settling down with a gently used book that I had purchased from my public library a few weeks ago {"Drunk" } and had posted a picture of here boasting how you can find a non-fiction book about any topic under the sun, and one of the main reasons why I had acquired the book were the jacket blurbs that were touting the praises on how good this book is.

Within the first thirty pages, this book performed a complete 180 from what it outwardly presented itself to be. Outwardly, it presented a picture of a fun-filled historical romp through the millennia about drinking. Inwardly, it presented a detailed picture of social/behavioral sciences indicative of what the various people of the world did when it came to producing/consuming/regulating fermented drink. All well and good, but this book was more suited for a college level social sciences course than as a book for the masses {aka literary non-fiction}.

Usually I've been pretty good about weeding out reading material that says one thing on the cover but says something completely different on the inside, but this time, I fell for the hype without researching to see if the hype lived up to the product. As the old saying goes, fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I'm just a gullible kind of guy {modern twist, so sue me}.

I'm often seeing this more and more when it comes to browsing both the new book selections at B&N or the gently used book selection at my public library. Lots of hype that I take with a large boulder of rock salt because why would a particular author have (at least with non-fiction) have so much hype about their book that contains a topic more suited for pop culture as opposed to not.

Now, I have seen some good hype geared towards books in certain non-fiction genres where the content ultimately lives up to/exceeds the hype (e.g. certain historical events/periods, sports and true crime), at least in my personal opinion. But I've also been the victim of where the hype thoroughly masqueraded the dullness/zoning out capabilities of the book itself (again, looking at you the literary genre).

The reality of good hype/bad product is that the person who created the perceived bad product will almost never have the opportunity to win that particular reader back. Reputation is everything in the literary world, and unless you're someone who has churned out quality product and can get away with the occasional lemon, one perceived bad tome is very hard to recover from.

Sad to say, I only purchase books based on the reputation of a writer who I have either interacted with personally, or peripherally in another format (e.g. a podcast host who writes a book in their particular field of knowledge). For general reading, the public library remains my go-to source of material.

So my friends, have you fallen victim to this insidious issue when it comes to the written word? 

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #247: A Little Coagulation Makes Everything Gel

While yes, this picture is...wait for it...nearly 17 years old, I'm reposting it not so much as it's a cute picture of my daughter but the store that's in the background next to Jo-Ann Fabric (in bankruptcy I believe), Big Lots, which has closed/is closing over 350 stores, including the one pictured, as it works it way through bankruptcy. Welcome to the new retail world of 2024.

Today's post, while writing related, won't be that heavily skewered towards the nuts and bolts of my current project {e.g. page/chapter/word count}, but like looking for an opinion on a particular part of a book that people have lots of opinions about.

Epilogues.

As loosely defined, an epilogue is a coda/summation that brings to a satisfactory conclusion to what you've just read/heard/seen. It's quite prevalent in books, of all genres, when you want to shine a light on what might've possibly happened to your characters after your story has wrapped up.

In my particular instance, because I have invested so much time/energy on the lives of all my main characters, giving them nuanced motives in pursuing/completing/not completing a particular task, that I sincerely do not think that trying to WRAP UP ALL OF THOSE PLOT POINTS in one final penultimate chapter will be fair to the readers (or myself for that matter) who invested so much time with those characters. 

Just to give you a basic idea of what I'm looking at that must have A RESOLUTION of some type, and this doesn't include the actual ending, which I'm still trying to resolve to my satisfaction.

1. A sentient being that was "killed" off in book #3, is deciding whether or not to reincarnate and become a sentient to another, or stay with her current host, who is serving penance for causing her to die to begin with.
2. Two cousins who are trying to successfully complete their last assignment, which will allow them to regain control of their lives AND find a new home/host in which to restart their lives with.
3. A swerve in which one protag/antag must decide on which person who should take delivery of her hostage, with each person having their own different outcomes.
4. A secondary swerve involving the protag/antag mentioned above, which culminates in the gentle reassignment of the remaining four members of her family conclave.
5. I have two immortals, one who is now host to a sentient being, who are in charge of making sure that the hostage is being delivered on time.
6. The two sisters who ultimately betrayed their Queen for the Queen who wants the man in question.

Those are the main points that indirectly involve the actual ending as it applies to the pursuing/pursued side of this conflict. The following points that directly involve the actual ending as it applies to the receiving side.

1. I have a lady-in-waiting who has recently become a host to a person who was reincarnated into a sentient being and is recovering from a brutal multi-faceted assault from the next bullet point.
2. The renegade from the conclave that is the actual power behind the throne who is looking to perform his own usurpation.
3. The Queen who was the catalyst for this entire story. Does she win in the end? Does she lose in the end? Does she break even in the end?
4. The Queen who was the pursuer for the entire story. Does she win in the end? Does she lose in the end? Does she break even? In regards to a couple points mentioned above, does she win or lose?
5. The Milady, who was the hostage in question's first wife, what does she win in the end? How does her life continue afterwards?

Since all of these points have to be concluded to everyone's satisfaction, and there are many intertwined points at stake here, I guess the question now pivots to this: should I have two separate epilogues involved for both sides?

Funnily enough, writing this blog post has allowed me to look at my entire series with a fresh set of eyes, and in order to do all of the intertwined/interconnected plot points, both large and small, I really do need to write two distinct epilogues in order to properly close out this series.

But after reaching this very realistic possibility for this series, I've also come to the very realistic possibility of writing novellas/novelette as follow-ups to these particular characters. Note: these characters have been my entire world for the past 2 1/4 years, so I can truthfully say that I've grown quite attached to them.

Not sure if I've ever experienced something like this before, in that while trying to make a case for something, I ultimately convinced myself to make a major swerve into something else. But, while writing this blog post, I also came up with another idea for this series, which I will presently keep to myself until I can talk to others about it.

In any event, please enlighten me with your thoughts about epilogues in general or a proposed dual epilogue ending. Have a fantastic week everybody!

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #246: Free-Formin' To A Free-Fallin' Monday

Barking at the...sun? 

Today's post was actually inspired by a FB post from my FB friend Lynn, in which she made a funny comment about Mondays. I seriously almost went to town with a song lyric/title montage in her comment section about Mondays, but since discretion is the better part of my humor these days, I chose to save it for a blog post.

Thus, today's blog post is, as the title suggests, a satirical take on song titles/lyrics associated with our least favorite day of the week. Now, I want to make clear right off the bat is that this post will not, repeat. will not become one monster link-fest to that wonderfully annoying video platform called YouTube. Instead, I will add a list at the end of all the bands that performed the songs referenced in this fun filled blog post, in chronological order of course.

So, sit back and enjoy this wonderfully tiny little blog post by your friend, G.B. Miller.

~~~~~~~~

We find Ted staring rather morosely outside his cubicle window at the chaotically wet scene unfolding in front of him. Sighing in disgust, he says, "Man, why is this Monday ringing so Blue today? I can't get any work done with this depressing shade of angry blue. It's just not that inspiring to me."

"Ted! Hey Ted! Have you got that monthly petty cash report finished for me?"

"Bob, what an unexpected surprise to my dull morning. What are you babbling on about now?"

"Dull? It's not dull by any means! It's a very Happy Monday today! It's a great day to be alive and working like a busy beaver. Speaking of which, did you get that power point report completed?"

"No Bob, I didn't get your power point report completed. This Rainy Day Monday is simply not doing it for me. How can you be so full of life on such a crappy Monday?"

"Ted, Ted, Ted. How can you be so glum on such a beautiful Monday. Monday is my favorite day of the week. Don't you like Mondays?"

"No Bob, I Don't Like Mondays. In fact, I like Mondays just about as much as I like shampooing my pet guinea pig. So, what else do you need besides that stupid power point presentation?"

Bob fell silent as he tried to come up with a witty retort to Ted's dour answer. Suddenly the answer him like an Acme Anvil. "I got it! My favorite group has the perfect Monday morning anthem for you! It's a great song called Life Sucks (Then You Die). Let me pull it up on my YouTube playlist."

"What kind of Monday morning anthem celebrates Murphy's Law? That's really offensive you know. I have half a mind to report you to H.R."

"It'll be ignored, you do know that, right?"

"Bob....isn't it about time you start bothering Carol and Alice? I mean, they are your work wives, right?"

"We're in the middle of a nasty divorce. If they prevail, they get my office suite, my personal assistant and you. Can't let them win Ted."

That bit of news definitely brightened Ted's state of mind, since he would absolutely love to be part of a super intelligent dynamic duo like Carol and Alice. Bob noticed Ted's new and improved mood, and said, "I knew my Monday morning anthem would do the trick for you. So, I'll expect that power point report from you sooner than later?"

"Absotively Posilutely my friend!"

"That's the cubicle spirit!" said Bob as he flounced back to his office suite to contemplate the true meaning of a menace a trois.

The list: Fats Domino; power pop group The Happy Mondays; The Carpenters; The Mamas & The Papas; The Boomtown Rats; and finally, The Fools. The Fools had a cult hit in the late 80's actually called "Life Sucks (Then You Die)" which turned into a Monday Morning anthem on rock radio. A wickedly funny take on Murphy's Law.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #245: Where Oh Where Are My Ideas?

Decided to do one last quasi-hike/walk up the mountain this past Saturday {10/19}, which included a closed side street that was recently shorn of vegetation by Eversource so that they could safely access the power lines. Was able to take almost a half dozen pictures of a seldom seen part of the mountain, including this nifty fall foliage scene crackling with sunlight.

This post is my semi-monthly to monthly two-fer, in which you get random thoughts here and pictures over at that resurrected picture blog of mine, Pictures For Smarties!

Random thoughts

Had a brief writing related reality check when I suddenly had a full barrel of fish, a rod and reel and no fish caught. In other words, no ideas on what to write for a blog post.

I mean, I could give a writing update, but frankly, how many times can I say, "I'm in the home stretch and I have just a few more chapters to go!", before it starts sounding painfully redundant?

"I'm in the home stretch and I have just a few more chapters to go!"

 But, as they say, inspiration comes from the oddest of places, which in today's skewered world is Face-planting my Book. A FB friend of mine made a comment about Mondays being a drag, which triggered a tangent based on that troublesome day of the week. Fortunately enough for everyone else, I had enough presence of mind not to continue because I still don't quite know how they take my quirky sense of humor. So keep your eyes peeled for a very odd post about that troublesome day of the week, done in the form of...well, I'll let you both be surprised and be the judge.

So, this post is short on brevity and short on word salad. Have an enjoyable Monday, because the world indeed does revolve around you. Oh and in case you're below the age of say 50 and haven't watched the golden years of 70's television, part of my blog title refers to this nifty song.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #244: Still Entertaining Myself Weakly...But Happily

Once again successfully testing out my theory that you can find a non-fiction book on just about any topic you can think of. This is my latest gently used book purchase from my local public library. The main topic is drinking and partying throughout the centuries.

You're welcome.

Today's fun filled topic was last touched upon by me back in the Spring/Summer of 2023: podcasts. 

At this point in my life, I have basically given up listening to music during my twice daily walks, as the major music platform that I use for music {TuneIn} is not very good. It's decent, to a certain degree, for podcast listening.

The other major platform that I use is IHeart. Say what you want about IHeart Radio, but they do have their act together when it comes to media. IHeart is what Audacy, Spotify and TuneIn strive to be. This ends the editorialization part of today's post, so now we move on to the entree portion of the post.

Podcasts.

I rarely listen to music while walking these days. I think it's due to three reasons: unhappiness with my music app TuneIn (a multitude of reasons that boil down to how they run their business stupider, not smarter); the finickiness of using Chrome in a non-app format while in a semi-dead zone town and in the summer Baseball via the MLB app.

Podcasts for me have become the logical successor for audiobooks. Now to be fair, I haven't listened to audiobooks since the early 1990's when they were available exclusively in the cassette/CD format (yes, showing my age here) and I'm very leery in general of purchasing something in an exclusively digital format (which is why I never got into downloading MP3's and the like). I won't bore you with even the T.L.;D.R. version of how I came into the world of podcasts, but instead will skip right to what keeps my usually short attention span occupied when I'm doing something healthy like walking. 

I currently have a set list of 26 podcasts that I listen to on a rotating ten day basis (during the summer, it can take me up to two weeks to run the circuit), along with a few one and dones, and four YouTube channels. I would like to share those podcasts with you, so that you can get another glimpse of what piques my curiosity and will often dictate what I read and/or write. 

I would also like to note that a lot of these podcasts have fascinating websites attached to them as well, and those are worth looking at too.

1. Stuff You Missed In History Class: the title says it all. From what I understand, this podcast has been around since the mid 2000s, and the running gag on the podcast is when people write in to say they have earned their PhD by listening to the entire back catalog. No topic or person too obscure or well known is off limits to them and it's well worth a listen to.
2. Dark Downeast: This is a fantastic true crime podcast that specializes in New England crime. I'm currently going through the back catalog while listening to current episodes and I highly recommend it as well.
3. Legends Of The Old West: A great podcast that covers everything associated with the Old West. The host recently came out with a book covering a period of the Indian Wars of the late 19th century.
4. Park Predators: another true crime podcast that specializes in the National Park System and has occasional episodes based overseas.
5. Criminalia: A very odd true crime podcast that will take a in-depth look at a particular type of crime per season, (e.g. arson, poisoning, patent medicines) and as a bonus will create a cocktail/mocktail for each episode. They currently have a book due out later this year.
6. Cautionary Tales: It's a bit hard to pin down just exactly what this podcast is about beyond the title. Very cool podcast that often tells two stories covering different viewpoints on a given topic/problem/issue.
7. The Big Flop: As it title states, this podcast covers the well known blunders and public mistakes of companies and people (e.g. the Fyre Festival, Janet Jackson debacle, and the Willy Wonka debacle in the UK).
8. Infamous America: this is a companion podcast to the Legends Of the Old West, as it's produced by the same media company. They cover well known historical infamous events/people (e.g. The Black Sox scandal, DB Cooper, Willie Sutton and the Zodiac Killer).
9. Mobituaries: this podcast deals with the lives/legacies of well known people/events (e.g June Foray, John Denver, Wanda LaPage and a PBS show he was a writer on called Wishbone). Created by Mo Rocca, he's also written a couple of books about this topic. 
10. History On Trial: this podcast focuses on historical trials that affect crime and punishment, along with the lasting aftereffect. (e.g. the abolishment of the "3rd degree", obscenity, defamation, adultery)
11. The Wild: this podcast covers all things nature, wildlife and the environment. Based out of Seattle, hosted by environmentalist Chris Morgan, it's a very informative and entertaining look at the world around us (e.g. bears, the fragile ecosystem in certain areas, the Cascades and wolves)
12. The Curious History of Your House: is exactly as it states. Covers the history of everyday objects, hosted by domestic historian Ruth Goodman (e.g. windows, bathrooms, utensils and board games).
13. The Mets Pod: Self explanatory, but this pod takes over a previous NY Mets podcast that was getting to be maddeningly inconsistent when it came to publishing. This one is actually owned by SNY TV (sports home of Met, Jets, Nets, Knicks and I believe UCONN still).
14. Which Game First: this is a podcast produced by a cousin of mine, who covers the RPG/board game industry. They review all sorts of games, attend/put on conventions, weekly live stream their gaming. A very cool podcast that's been going on for about 6 years.
15. The People's Recorder: not sure if this is simply a one-off or not, but this podcast covers the WPA Writer's Project of the pre-WWII years, with an emphasize on the forgotten/overlooked communities of the time period (aka, everyone who wasn't White). Highly informative, with recent episodes covering Indigenous people and former slaves. I found this one via another podcast on this list called "Sidedoor".
16. Scamfluencers; this one covers all kinds of scams that have taken place. Some well known, like the eighteen year old masquerading as a doctor and the Fyre Festival, others a bit more obscure, like a woman who drove a town into bankruptcy/receivership to fund her lifestyle of breeding show horses and the entrepreneur who scammed his way to opening a well known ski resort in Vermont. 
17. Small Town Dicks: this is a true crime podcast that has a special emphasis on small town crime, mostly in the US, with the occasional foray into Scotland and Australia. They recently aired a six part series on the first modern murder investigation (that is, one that first used the forensic techniques that are commonplace today). This one is hosted and produced by Yeardley Smith.
18. Sidedoor: this is a podcast produced/created by the Smithsonian Institute, so the topics are often based mostly from items in the various collections housed there. A recent episode covered the history of women winning the right to have credit cards/loans in their own names.
19. Criminal Attorney: I believe this is a one-off and I'm not sure if its non-fiction or fiction. I just heard the promo for it, and a podcast about a criminal defense attorney drawing the ire of the FBI can't be all that bad, right?
20. Empire City: this one is a bit of an outlier for me, in that it's a critical history of the NYPD, told by a journalist/activist that leans a little more left politically than I'm personally comfortable with. Having said that, so far it's been a good deep dive into one of America's top three major police departments (other being Chicago and LA, in my opinion). I also believe this one is a one-off as well, although I could be wrong.

A minor break here, as I wanted to briefly highlight four YouTube channels that often make it into my podcast rotation. Three are political in nature that are moderate/conservative, but the fourth is a writing related channel that started earlier in the year called "Only Murders In My Mind", which is about the wonderful world of crime writing (true crime and all kinds of murder mysteries). It's hosted by three well known UK crime/mystery writers and I highly recommend it. They too have a blog associated with the channel as well.

1. Tides of History: Almost no explanation needed. From 2017 thru 2019, this podcast dealt with the history of the Middle Ages through the Italian Renaissance. From 2020 to the present, he switched gears and started covering pre-history, the Stone age, Bronze Age, the Iron Age and is currently making his way back to the Middle Ages. If you like world history, this is a fantastic podcast to check out.
2. American History Tellers: also self-explanatory, this podcast deals with American History and other connected world events. Topics of recent note include Tulsa Race Massacre, the Space Race and the First Ladies Of the White House. He also hosts the next podcasts on this list, as well as one from 2020 called American Elections/Wicked Games.
3. American Scandals: Also self-explanatory, this once covers American Scandals, of recent note were The Teapot Dome Scandal, The Titanic and Watergate.
4. Business Wars: this one covers battles between different businesses. Of recent note, Coke v Pepsi, ESPN v FoxSports, CNN v FoxNews and Fender v Gibson.
5. British Scandals: just like the one mentioned above, except the focus is on Britain, of recent note, Jeffrey Archer, Oasis, The Peru Two and the man who faked an around the globe boat race.
6. Decoding the Unknown: this podcast/YouTube channel covers all kinds of well known mysteries, including Avril Lavigne, The Man in Black, Lost Tomb of Alexander the Great and Nazi gold. This podcast/YouTube channel is hosted by Simon Whistler, who has nearly one dozen total channels under this belt that you should check out.
7. The Casual Criminalist: this is another podcast/YouTube channel hosted by Simon Whistler. The pleasant thing about this one and the previous is that he really puts his dry sense of humor to the test, so in spite of the gruesomely dark subject matter, he really does make it very enjoyable to listen to. Topics include just any well known murder(s) you can think of between the 19th and 21st century.
8. Grating the Nutmeg: this one I found via random FB page suggestion. This covers the very entertaining topic of Connecticut history, which they must be doing very well as they're coming up to their 200th episode. While it doesn't seem like a lot, they do publish on a bi-monthly basis, which puts their born on date around the late 2010's. Highly recommend if you want to learn the history of a seldom mentioned original colony.

To sum all of this up, this is what passes for literary entertainment in my tiny slice of the universe. If you're into podcasts, please give these a look see, you won't be disappointed if you do. However, I will give you a fair warning about the two Simon Whistler channels: he really does very deep dives, as each episode can range anywhere from 55 minutes to almost 2 1/2 hours in length. 

Have a fantastic Monday everyone! And remember, Christmas is just around the corner, at least according to the advertisers.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #243: I'm Sorry, What Was Your Name Again?

Another lovely chalk drawing created during the annual Newington Waterfall Festival, which is the official goodbye to summer and a timid hello to autumn.

I love creating throwaway characters for my stories. You just give them a few characteristics and a reason for being in your scene, then POOF!, they're discarded like a celeb's political opinion, never to be heard from again. Usually.

However, while I love creating throwaway characters, I do have a small issue when it comes to giving them a....bleech...name. When I have to plaster their entire being with a name, it usually means that this person can't be deposed of like a celeb's political opinion, but instead you have to give them the short attention span treatment.

Which is easier said than done. But...I do have secret guilty pleasure when it comes to slapping a moniker on a throwaway: giving them the most horrendously puerile name that I have stashed in my memory.

I know you know what I'm talking about. There are names that we have heard used back in the day in books, movies, radio and t.v., that automatically makes us want to use a spoon for gagging purposes. That's right, they're the kind of names that you can instantly conjure a bad stereotype of right off the bat (think of Ralph Wiggins from the Simpsons), whether they're male or female.

I actually have a short catalog of annoying names, mostly male, that I draw from when I have a character that appears in the story just a shade longer than a "blink and you'll miss" cameo. I say 'mostly male', because the majority of my stories skewer quite heavily towards women and I cannot bring myself to write those kind of obnoxious people as female.

For example, I use the name Melvin quite a lot in my stories. Back in the day, I rank the name 'Melvin' right up there with 'Myron' and 'Eugene' for names that I instantly dislike {equivalent would be those cute kitty memes/pics that often can induce rage among the populace}. So I often use the name for very unlikable characters that need to stick around longer than a "blink and you'll miss him" cameo.

In an upcoming novella, I had a character that was key to moving a few plot points along, even though each encounter lasted less than two total paragraphs (had three appearances in total). So naturally he gained the sobriquet of 'Melvin'. 

Melvin was one of those greasy fat blobs of a human being that seemed to live in his car 24/7/365 and was one of those annoying little druggies who thought he was hot stuff with his dealer and the ladies he would come across {what we would probably call today, an 'incel'}. Melvin was easily intimidated by anyone who had displayed just a tiny whiff of intolerance to his verbal vomit, so naturally, he became a verbal/physical punching bag to those who could actually back up what they were saying to him. So he was the perfect throwaway character that showed up, drank your beer, scarfed down your nachos, insulted your female guests, then left with his tail between his legs.

In my current novella, I managed to use quite a few throwaways that lasted less than three pages for each appearance: generic wannabe tough guys, corrupt cops, various members of a large collection agency, even an atypical druggie and pimp. All nameless and all were used to simply move the story along. I believe this was the first story where I didn't need to tack on a name for a long term throwaway, as everyone who was named was an essential character to the story.

In my current project, because I had so many plotlines going, the unfortunate aspect of naming my throwaways had to be deployed. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to keep the usage of each throwaway character to a manageable level, so in essence, they started drifting from throwaway to additional. But, and this is a big one, I actually had to go back in time to make sure that I wasn't repeating any of the names for those throwaways, because each and every character was injected with just enough personality to make them unique.

So the throwaways for this story with names were as follows: a Lothario teacher (Leonid), a peasant (Simon), a chatty horse who doesn't know when to stay silent (Lawrence), a well-respected teacher among his pupils (Mr. Percival), a group of humanoids (Arturo, Isiah, Louis, Anatole) and one dog (Cerberus). All of these charming people were essential to moving the various plotlines along.

Now comes the part that all writers can enjoy creating: throwaways with no names.

Those are much more fun to play with, as it's one of the few times that you can use a blatant stereotype in order to move a plot a long/showcase your protagonist/antagonist in their particular element without the reader getting too much annoyed with you. At least if you're putting that particular throwaway in their place.

Need a way to showcase a character's ability to inflict broken bones/leave a lasting impression by only touching them? Create a stereotypical brutish drunkard with more brawn than brain cells. For added hilarity, imply that the man might be from the Old West. To leave a lasting impression, create a stereotypical foppish palace courtier that is all bark and no bite. Need a way to showcase a character's acerbic wit that can cut a Sequoia down to kindling? Create a pompous Kevin/Karen who likes to name drop "important friends".

There are virtually an endless amount of opportunities to create throwaway characters that are both cannon fodder and move a particular plot point along. You don't need to pour a multitude of character development for a throwaway character. Remember, people playing a red shirt member of Star Trek or a starship trooper from Star Wars were there just to collect a paycheck. No more, no less. Your throwaway character is there to just collect a paycheck, only in the form of actual dialogue. No more, no less.

Have a fun filled happy Monday, and remember, every person deserves their moment in the sun, but not every person deserves to have multiple moments in the sun.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #242: We Haz Scribbles And Pictures!

The sun was looking especially inviting the day after the rainstorm the prior weekend to this post, so I took a few dozen steps inside for a few pics. Not quite Autumn in this part of New England yet.

This post will be a short two-fer, in that part one is a brief writing update, while part two will be linking up to my picture blog.

Here is part the 1st: the writing update.

Sometimes doing the most mundane things in life often can be the impetus to working out a satisfactory conclusion to a thorny issue. Which in this case is something that I've recently written about here a few weeks ago: a title. 

But, first things first. We are now into the home stretch of completing our four part lo-fantasy series, in that the final confrontation will be commencing very soon, which I hope will tie up at least a half dozen plot lines to a satisfactory conclusion.

We are currently sitting at 102 total chapters, of which 101 have been transcribed, totaling 494,751 words. Now before you act on the popular acronym of WTF?!, let me enlighten you on something: those chapters will be properly broken down to the appropriate volumes once I go through the initial round of edits, because there is no way that particular numbering will stay exactly like that. I may be a bit eccentric with my writing, but not that eccentric.

Now, onto the other issue, the title. As I hinted at, the mundane thing I was performing was one of my twice daily walks while listening to podcasts. Sometimes, when I'm listening to a topic that doesn't quite keep my short attention span occupied, my mind will wander about on the inside. That wandering about eventually came up with a base title for my series: Sister vs Sister.

Now I know it sounds cliche, but when you boil down all of the plotlines contained within, it basically comes out to two sisters, one that knows the other exists while the other doesn't know she has a sister, battling over the possession of one sister's husband.

So, this overall title actually completes my title search, as I had already come up with the titles for the remaining four books: The Kidnapping, The Campsite, The Retrieval I and the Retrieval II {although the last two are not quite set in stone just yet}.

And now for part the 2nd, pictures.

I've decided to make my picture blog into a bi-monthly occurrence, as it gives me something lighthearted and fun to do with all the pictures that I got hanging around on Google. This particular post deals with the theme of All Hallow's Eve, so I sincerely hope you take a short stroll over to my picture blog to check it out.

Pictures For Smarties!

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #241: Hello! And You Are...?

This is one of my newer little friends that my muse was kind enough to introduce me to, as apparently I now need someone to keep me properly motivated with my writing. I think she's trying to tell me something.

A few weeks ago, I had participated in a small conversational thread, on a favorite YouTube channel that I subscribe to, about old fashioned names {the Reddit story in question was about the poster's sister mocking him for naming his child 'Lyric', and the sister was enamored with old/classic names}. The conversation thread got me to thinking about old fashioned names in general and how they're used in today's world.

I wasn't a big fan of the old fashioned names early on, mostly due to the only exposure that I had to them was like everyone else: Hollywood {period t.v. shows, period movies and cartoons} and books. It wasn't until I had started my first state government job back in 1996, helping microfilm old CT newspapers, that I had decided to take a more serious interest in what we now consider to be old-fashioned/classic names.

Fast forward to roughly 15 years ago, when I decided to get serious about my writing. One of the first items on my list to tackle was how to properly name my characters, both male and female, so that the names would more accurately reflect the type of person I was writing them to be. Which basically meant that I didn't want to either use short versions of popular names {e.g. John, Kate, Chuck} or popular American English names {e.g. Matthew, Mel, Rich}. So this left me using other sources to come up with interesting first names that would accurately reflect the character I'm creating.

The road to interesting names is paved with pop culture, history, foreign languages and the Internet. To whit:

1} Pop culture: drawing on this particular item required me to search the memories of my life, specifically the world of Warner Brother cartoons, where all kinds of interesting names were used, abused and mocked. This went hand in hand with point #2.

2} History: I spent 1996 thru 2003 working with late 18th thru early 20th century newspapers, so this gave me a surprisingly in-depth education on the societal norms and habits of those eras, of which one was the first names of men and women. Almost to a fault, the full proper version of a name was used publicly, which I was eventually able to turn on its head once I had gotten serious about my writing.

3} Foreign languages: this basically worked hand-in-hand with the Internet, since a lot of the names I was brainstorming sounded way cooler after they were run through a foreign language {e.g. Spanish, Italian}. This led directly to #4.

4} The Internet: since going to the library nowadays, while a good place to do research, was not conducive to the almost ADHD style of research that I would typically undertake when writing a story {focus? what's that?}. Thus, the Internet was a very key tool when it came to researching character names, especially when I was struck with a whim of "hey, I wonder what this would sound like in French or what's the equivalent in Norse mythology?" {note, those were actual search terms used by me}.

So, armed with this vast not-quite-encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture/history, off I went in search of using names that were slightly different from the contemporaries but fit quite snugly in a given story. Let me give you three examples where I've successfully applied this philosophy.

A} My current novella, The Mortality of Familial Love, features an eclectic mix of character names that were chosen from all of the aforementioned points. Three of the main character names were Dmitri, Charles and Kaitlyn, while a few secondary characters had names of Amaliya, Andrik and Niles.

So I'm a big fan of using Slavic/Russian names for both good/bad/amoral characters; using alternate spellings of traditional names and using names directly inspired from t.v. shows. I'm also a major fan of using traditional names in general for some of my stronger characters, no matter where they fall on that tri-scale of good/bad/amoral.

B} Novella with a potential publishing date of 2025. This one I went a little hog wild by using all the aforementioned points, with the names falling under the entire tri-scale of good/bad/amoral. I did use a nickname or two, along with an alternative spelling for a few others. I will note that some of the following names were recycled for example C, because there are times where selective recycling of names is a good thing.

Names that I had chosen were: Jon, Alexia, Bradley (trad no nickname), Terrance (trad no nickname), Freddy/Frederick, Melvin, Claire, Virgil, and Xandra.

Again, the bulk of the names chosen were mostly old traditional names, which actually fit with the basic plotline that centers around two local criminal organizations that were vying for dominance in their home state. To me, using traditional names, no matter the gender, signifies respect, albeit 18th & 19th century style of respect, where nicknames were not really used.

C} My current lo-fantasy project. This is where I really went feral hog wild with choosing my character names, in which I had applied everything from the original four points plus others like different spellings.

I won't go into redundant detail on the names that I had actually chosen, as those could be found in this particular post from the Spring, but I will go into some of the background as to where they had originated from.

I originally wanted to say that at least five of the original character names were brought over to the new series, but after giving it some thought, only two and a half were brought over: Jhon and Adeola, with Myla's alternate name of Alicia being brought over. Everything else was created from scratch using sources as diverse as: Greek mythology; real life; a reader's poll; Spanish and Italian translation; very traditional names, with source material alternating between WB cartoons/old newspapers/classic television from the 70's/period history. We then detoured to classic literature, 19th century Europe and modern life. 

In short, we tried to select names that closely mirrored the kind of character we had in mind to create. I think the biggest mistake one can make as a writer is to choose names that are the proverbial square peg to the character's proverbial round hole. For me, it's something that I can picture quite clearly in my mind that this character needs this particular type of name attached to them.

Over the years it's been a hard struggle to choose names for my characters, and even a harder struggle not to reuse a particular name as a lead character no more than three times in consecutive stories. But I am trying my very best with my selection of names for my lead characters, whether they're male or female.

Within the next few weeks, look for a post where I talk about how I choose names for characters that are either throwaways or hang around long enough to advance a given story arc.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #240: And You Are Called?

Books By G.B. Miller

Today's pic is a 100% honest attempt at promotion. This novella is my latest release, a dark fast paced rural/urban fantasy that doesn't slow down until the end. Available at most major e-tailers in e-book and print. Click the link for further details.

There are three things that I absolutely loathe as a writer: 1} picking a title for a story; 2} writing blurbs for a completed book and 3} choosing characters names.

As much as I would love to rant about my trials and tribulations in picking character names (and there are a lot) today's post will be about my trials and tribulations in picking story titles.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've always, ALWAYS, had problems in choosing/brainstorming titles for my stories. More often than not, the titles that I pick for stories would often have absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with the story whatsoever.

One example, the original title for the novella that you see standing before you. Prior to the final title that you see, I originally went through almost seven different iterations of what this story was known, and I only remember what the previous title to this novella was, "Blackness In The White Sand". Could not remember why I came up with that title originally and it took me over 8 years to come up with the title that you see before you, and I had to use the very sound advice of a writer's group to help me come up with that.

Another good example of a very bad title was the original title of my adult fiction novel The Inner Sibling, which was Line 21. This was a title that absolutely no one understood the meaning behind it. Twelve years later, even I came to the conclusion it was a crappy title. For those who are curious, the original title refers to the old version of the 1040A form, in which line 21 is where you put the amount of miscellaneous income that you had earned for the year.

Now let me give you a couple of examples of titles that I had given to some short stories of mine. Red Stripe and The Right Thing. The former story is featured in my collection called What Is Life? and it tells the story about a day in the life of a punk rock musician. Why I titled the story after a bottle of beer is anybody's guess, because the story has absolutely nothing to do with beer. The latter story is about a day in the life of a guy who was cheated on by his girl with another girl, and it uses the backdrop of a town festival for the story to unfold. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. The latter story can be found in my collection called A Trilogy of Love, which is actually a replacement title for the same collection under the name Broken Promises.

Now to the present. When I had originally started my current project, which has the blog tag Hot Mess, it was called Dandelion Tears. Again, I have absolutely no idea as to why I had chosen that title to begin with. I mean, it's mentioned very briefly as a place of employment for one of the characters, but that's about it. I have, however, come up with a working theory as to why I choose bizarre titles for my stories: I simply latch onto a particular word, regardless whether it actually applies to a story, and viola! it becomes a title for a story.

However you want to break it down, the real challenge, at least for this series, is to come up with an overall title for the series. My saving grace this time around is that because I have the four volumes broken down by events {kidnapping, 1st recovery attempt at a campsite, 2nd recovery attempt is a pitched battle, and the final recovery attempt takes place at the place} I will have no problem it titleing those four volumes.

Literally, my entire writing journey is littered with stories that have absolute crap titles that I now have to rectify with brand new titles, and it hasn't been easy. I have succeeded in renaming a previously published story with one that actually makes sense, while another novella desperately needs one beyond the placeholder of the "Average American Novella". In addition to those messes, I have nearly three dozen short stories from my defunct short story blog that needs new titles so that I can create new collections.

Basically, I suck at picking out titles for my stories, because apparently I subscribe to the bizarre philosophy that some musicians apply to their works, which is to pick a nonsensical title for the c.d.'s, which leaves everyone collectively scratching their heads trying to decipher the reasoning {example: The Boomtown Rats, who had that cult hit "I Don't Like Mondays" titled their album "The Fine Art of Surfacing", which contains that cult hit}. I guess you can call me "The Muddler" when it comes to story titles, because my muddle choices often make no sense to anyone, including myself.

Happy Monday to one and all, and remember just because the world doesn't revolve around you, you can take comfort in the knowledge that people used to believe that the Sun revolved around the Earth.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #239: The Return Of The....Picture Blog!

Back in the day, during the fertile time period of my blogging {mid-2010's}, I decided to create a picture blog. I had recently become enamored with basic point/shoot photography {aka disposable cameras}, so I decided to create a picture blog called Pictures For Smarties! It functioned quite well for a short number of years, 2010-16, before I decided to move on to other things. 

The reason for giving everyone the very abbreviated back story is two fold: one, I need to publish a blog post and two, my brain decided to take an involuntary thinking break as it applies to blogging.

In regards to the latter, we originally came up with three topics to write about. The first was another deep dive into my writing process, but after two pages in, I realized that I had covered the topic in other blog posts, so it was becoming blatantly redundant; the second topic was to riff on a previous blog post about my muse, but after writing just the title on a sheet of blank notebook paper, my muse hit me {gently} with a cat o'nine tails and stated very succinctly that this would work better as a short story. I agreed, so I wrote a sticky and put it with a folder of other potential short story ideas; the third topic was to do a "abnormal review" but I quickly shot it down the moment I wrote Abnormal Review on the paper.

The next day, while munching on breakfast, the idea of resurrecting my picture blog, at least for this week, was looking very, very feasible. I had accumulated a lot of random slice-of-life pics, and using them for an emergency blog post such as this one, made a lot of sense.

So, without further ado and after a nearly 8 year hiatus, I bring to you a fresh new post from my picture blog, and depending on the response I receive, I may add a few more to the mix in the coming weeks/months.

Pictures For Smarties!

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved