Monday, December 9, 2024

Episode #252: Where Oh Where, Are My Blog Words?

We all need a little flashback to warmer times right now, and Happy little flowers can often bring the warm fuzzies to lighten the mood.

About once about every five months, I open up a blank blog screen, only to find myself staring at said screen and thinking to myself, "And I am here because....why?"

Which as a person who dabbles with the various parts of grammar is not a good question to ask myself. So when I sat down in front of the computer, and asked myself that very exact question, I knew a micro-second later that this was going to be ONE OF THOSE POSTS. The kind of post that starts off with good intentions but immediately pivots to being exactly like a t.v. series that jumps the shark when it comes up with a dream sequence that immediately wipes out the previous season's plots.

So the first thing I did (unnaturally for me) was to stare at my vast record collection to see anything popped out to me for a topic. Unfortunately, beyond noticing that I have several Jim Reeves records, nothing jumpstarted my brain cells. So we continued with our mental wandering to see what else could jumpstart my brain cells.

I briefly thought about giving a writing update, but instead I began ruminating about what kind of contract I would enforce on anyone who would want to option the movie rights to my series (you can spurt your liquid refreshment at the computer screen now). T.L.;D.R.: my series actually checks off a multitude of very important identity boxes in order to be given proper consideration for dipping into the cesspool of Hollywood.

So, after making that right turn at Truth or Consequences, we continued on our vainglorious journey for a writing topic. We briefly stopped at the music depot, to see what kind of topics, if any, they had for sale, but alas poor Yorrick, I knew him Horatio. So we stepped out of the music depot and thought about going to Homeless Depot or the railroad depot, but instead we made a stop at the mail depot.

Unfortunately, beyond getting a very thick guidebook to....drum roll please....MEDICARE! and griping about lost mail (that's a mind-numbing story within itself) and T-Mobile (another mind-numbing story within itself), nothing of any political import was to be had. So, yikes! and away we went to trample through the forest with our band of stoic manly men.

After trampling with my band of stoic manly men, we decided to exit the forest with blisters on my fingers and bunions on my toes in order to continue my search for a blog topic. Now if you've made this far and you're scratching your head wondering just exactly what the blog topic is and where are my blog words, let me tell you my dirty little secret.

To borrow from Jerry Seinfeld, this blog post is about absolutely nothing. Buuuuuut, it's a nothing that managed to bring a smile to your tired face on this mediocre Monday morning, because my friends, you read a post about nothing in particular. Unless you count someone dropping over a dozen pop culture references to be actually something, then you read a post about something.

Either way, you found a way to occupy anywhere from sixty seconds to one-hundred five seconds of your day absorbing a piece of fiction that contained absolutely nothing of import. Which means that my job is done here until next Monday, when we get to do this all over again not live in front of the studio audience, but via the compact disc. Or cassette, depending on what decade I would like to briefly reside in.


{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

4 comments:

  1. An entire post about nothing. Well done, sir. Although it was about something - not finding a blog topic.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you kind sir. And your observation is ultimately correct. But it was fun writing a blog post about not being able to write a blog post. I guess it's the dormant politician in me trying to escape.

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  2. Not nothing - it was an exploration of possible topics. And a hike through a forest. ☺

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    Replies
    1. This is true, but it was an exploration of trying to find something and not succeeding.

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Lay it on me, because unlike others, I can handle it.