I Have Stories To Tell! Episode the 18th

Boy howdy and howdy doody to the boys and girls who simply enjoy being boys and girls respectively and welcome to the skewered literary world of G.B. Miller, where being seriously glib at work allows you to float like Woodstock and sting like a Donald Trump mic drop.

I thought that for today's post I would give it the old college try of writing a semi-sensible post about random encounters with dogs. But first, s little back story via the pictorial.

I live with three dogs. Lucky, the dog in the top photo, is roughly the age of Methuselah {aka 18 years old} and has a brain holier than Swiss cheese {due to a few mini strokes} but has weird bursts of energy at the strangest times; Tina, the smaller Chihuahua in the bottom photo who seems to be perpetually wound up on quadruple shot espresso; and Oreo, who has no qualms in taking on dogs 20 times his size.

For better or worse {mostly worse} I perpetually have the taint of dog on me, my clothes and my jacket. Normally this isn't a problem, but starting about a couple of months ago, it had become an indirect focus on a disturbing twist to my weekly walks.

As you may or may not know, I have taken up hardcore walking on the weekends. On a normal Saturday, I walk to the center of town run my errands while listening to podcasts/music on my smartphone. This usually takes me about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to accomplish, with the round trip covering about 4 miles. Sundays, I walk late in the morning for a couple of hours, which also covers about 3 to 4 miles as well.

Up until very recently, I had no problem with the myriad of dogs that I would come across on my journeys. Whenever I would come across one, more often than not I would allow the dogs to give my jeans a quick sniff before complimenting the owner of said dog about said dog and continuing on my walk.

However, about two to three months ago, I had an encounter with a dog that afterwards left me skittish about allowing dogs near me. I started out on a walk and as I got to the bottom of my driveway, I had an encounter with a neighbor who was out walking her dog. I did my usual thing and allowed the dog check me out.

Next thing I know, the dog jumps up and attempts to nip my arm. Both I and the neighbor are shocked, with the neighbor quickly pulling the dog back and uttering the trite cliche of "She's never done that before!", which was quickly followed up with a very sincere apology.

Since then, every dog that I encounter during my walks, I give a very wide berth, in that if I'm on a sidewalk and I see one coming, I will detour to the street and walk around, or detour to the other side of the street if I'm walking on a side street. Sad, I know, but this is how I currently choose to deal with having potential contact with dogs.

This may change to something more lethal as I had a very close encounter with another neighbor's dog who attempted to nip/bite my face. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say, I was not at fault with this one either.

By nature, I do like dogs, but after these two "attacks" (for lack of a better word), I will have no qualms in defending myself by any means necessary should a 3rd "attack" arise.

As always, you can follow my act on Facebook and additionally, have a sparkling week.

{c} 2019 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved