Episode #177: The Simplest Word Is Often The Most Succinct

Summer in Connecticut. A man made fountain in the middle of a non-man made pond, which eventually empties out into a non-man made waterfall.

When we last left our madcap business duo of Ted and Bob, Ted was recovering from being thrashed about the office by Bob. Bob was taken by some men in dark suits, starched white shirts and loud ugly ties to a place where tired minds gather to spend money and devise speeches in which they keep crossed fingers behind their backs while pontificating.

While Bob was busy learning new life skills, Ted was busy trying to find ways to stand up to his megalomaniacal boss. Of which one was researching the world's shortest sentence that consists of one word containing the 14th and 15th letter of the alphabet: 'no'.

What his research found was that this simple sentence was, beyond a hint of a shadow of a doubt, the hardest sentence for any person to accept at face value. Now, let's disregard the pop culture version of the word that even I, your lowly blog writer, remembers quite well:

James Bond: Do you expect me to confess?

Dr. No: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.

The simple act of saying 'no' to someone can often drive a typical person mad, and a mentally unhinged person completely unglued. It's such an eloquent word, modest in its formation, but packs a loaded iron-ore ship ton of power in its wake. I mean, who wants to be on the receiving end of an eloquent word that is specifically designed to either hurt a person's feelings, or in the hands of a parent, good parenting or bad parenting.

The word 'no' packs such a powerful punch that it can leave people whose tiny bit of power that went to their heads, frothing at the mouth in frustration.

"I just love doing research in my down time," says Ted to a co-worker. The co-worker nods in agreement before suddenly going wide-eyed in fear and immediately cowering in his seat. Ted sighs, because he knew that his boss was standing behind him somewhere.

Ted spins his chair around and speaks with as much genuinely fake sincerity that he can muster up, "Bob, you're back from DC! We thought you must've gotten waylaid by those millennial protesters sipping on their Starbucks and screaming about how bad capitalism is. How is everything?"

"Everything is fine," Bob says with a sneer. "Tell me, are you doing anything that is against policy?"

"No," says Ted facetiously.

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? This isn't some kind of silly sketch you know. It shouldn't be that hard for you to understand, right?"

Bob starts getting cherry red in the face. "Look. If I want backtalk, I'll talk to my wife. She wears the pants in the family. Here, I do, so I need you to elaborate."

"No."

"WHAT?" Bob is now sputtering spittle all over the place as he starts having a major meltdown in the middle of the office.

Ted watches this meltdown with a sense of deja vu, but then realizes that he has the upper hand, so he turns his back on Bob and peers through the fourth wall yet again. "Well, it does look like that in fact, Bob picked up an infamous DC illness called, "Adult Toddlerism. It usually strikes both sexes, and usually the direct cause of the illness is the adult's inability to accept the word 'no' when they demand something that is usually given to them, no questions asked.

"So, if you want to be like the smart people in your sphere of influence who absolutely love going scorched earth on those with IQs of their shoe size, do what they do and weaponize that special magical word. Because as the old cartoon character from the 80's used to say, 'I have the power!' So be merciless with your power and make sure that your coffee is always fresh and your pastry is always warm as you go about your day-to-day activities."

{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved