Before we get hip wader deep into the runniest of today's post, I want to give a bikini thong brief of a writing update. I'm now back in the process of writing book #3 of my trilogy, and up until now, I've realized just how difficult it can be to properly tie up all the proper plot points, of which there are at least 5, so that your series comes to a satisfactory conclusion. Anywho, got two more chapters transcribed and have two more waiting to be transcribed. Current word count sits at 59 words short of 220k.
And now for something completely different. Last week I got a request from a company I do business with asking me to review the 24 pack of bottled water I had purchased a few weeks ago (it's heading into Summer and the house now goes heavy on consuming bottled water). Like, how can you really review bottled water? Well, I'm glad to say that my jaded imagination decided to ask me that very question because it gives me a chance to bring out Bob and Ted. Ya'll remember Bob and Ted from back when I reviewed a shelving unit about a month ago. So, here's the Dullness Duos take on bottled water.
"Hey Bob, I sure am thirsty. Got anything to drink?""Just this bottled water that I picked up wholesale, Ted.""Wholesale? Ewwww, like totally not consuming that stuff.""Why not? Look, it's good stuff, you don't even have to chew it so much any more." Bob takes a bottle from the pack, shakes it good a couple of times, waits for the naughty bits to settle, then pops it open and takes a swallow.Ted blanches at Bob chewing his water and says, "Water isn't supposed to be chewable you know. You're supposed to drink it smoothly like a shot of whiskey.""Buuurp!" says Bob just before wiping the sediment from his lips. "Nonsense, this water is completely fine and it quenches my thirst."Ted looks quizzically at Bob and asks, "Oh yeah? Where's it bottled?"Bob reads the side of the bottle and says, "Industrial Waste Site, North America."Ted immediately turns green and runs to the bathroom. With the sounds of someone violently retching ringing in his ears, Bob shrugs and says, "Ted! It's really good stuff! You can ignore the side effects! I certainly do! I mean, I'm only glowing in the dark now! And my insides are now blueish-green instead of navy blue!"
Wholesale water bottled in a very not nice place. Try it today, it's good eats. Or, give it to someone you don't like very much. Either way, it does a body good.
Note: This is satire/humor. No real people were actually harmed, and I certainly do not recommend anyone drinking bad bottled water. Of any kind. From anywhere.
Remember kids, a creative person is only as good as their imagination.
Ironically, bottled water is often no more purified than tap water.
ReplyDeleteAnd three times as expensive. With bottled water, more often than not you're paying for the label and not the product.
DeleteI saw a meme once that said companies who sell bottled water are in the business of selling plastic bottles, not water.
ReplyDeleteOr in the case of imported water, only the glass bottles.
DeleteI liked that review. It was true blue amusing!
ReplyDeleteEv / SnaggleTooth
Always thought blue was a good color to hide all kinds of "things".
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