One of the more stranger review requests that I've received over the years/decades, was a request to review a shelving unit that I had purchased from Amazon. Even though I decided to give it a review (boredom I think), I look back on it now and I'm thinking, "how in the world can someone intelligently review a shelving unit?"
Well, it turns out, you can't. I mean in this case, even though you store either c.d.s (yay!) or dvds (boo!), what else can you say about a shelving unit?
"Well Bob, you see, you can store a lot of things on this here shelving unit."
"Ted, the shelving unit is made out of wire. You know, the kind of wire used to make in-boxes for your desk. What else can you store on those shelves, hmmm?"
Ted is kind of lost right now, since his brain is tiny and as a member of upper management, it gets full quite easily. Bob knows this, shoot everyone in the office knows this, but as you well know, any underling that shows a smattering of smarts is not long for the corporate world.
"Ted, is everything alright?"
"Well Bob, you see, you can store lots of things on this here shelving unit."
"Okaaay."
"Bob, give me your hand."
"Why?"
Ted doesn't answer. Instead, he takes Bob's hand and quickly snips off a pinky. Bob screams in pain, while Ted holds up the bloody digit like it was a prized trout, then places it on the shelf.
"See Bob, it holds that pinky as pretty as you please. Here, let me demonstrate again."
"Ted, no! Ted, please, I need those parts!"
Bob's words fall on deaf ears, so to speak, as it takes Ted roughly four minutes to reduce Bob to the minus of all his part. Once the screaming dies down, Ted walks back to his computer and wipes his hands dry on Bob's tweed jacket before sitting down.
He brings up the item in question on the world's second most popular website and writes the following review.
"I have a myriad of other uses for this combo c.d./dvd wire shelving unit, of which one was to house all of my knick-knacks and a few of my participation trophies. It held everything in place, with only a minimal use of twine needed to hold some of the larger knick-knacks in place. If you need a nice decorative, yet highly functional shelving unit to store your personal property, this unit is for you.
"Highly durable and quite adjustable, it's a must if you want to showcase your various collections. I give this a very hearty five star rating."
In short, don't be like Bob, who questioned his superior about his opinion on a particular piece of office furniture. Bob got a very negative quarterly performance review later on for his inappropriate behavior.
{c} 2023 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved
He probably got in trouble for bleeding all over the office.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think so. Sometimes office rules can be so cruel.
DeleteLol
ReplyDeleteEv/SnaggleTooth
Pretty much.
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