Monday, April 11, 2022

Episode #118: Home Is Where You Find Strange Humor

The pictures to the left are what one half of the basement looked like about two weeks ago. Roughly 95% of what you see there actually came out of my den. I do plan on posting after pics once I get the bulk of everything put away. What you see is the main reason why my writing has taken an unwanted sabbatical.

The other reason why I'm showing pictures of all the stuff that will either make its way back inside my den or to that kitty corner you see in the 2nd picture is that after starting the laborious process of sorting/putting things away, I managed to find some very interesting items.

One was seriously missing savings bonds that belong to my children. The other was a ton of ye olden printed work/personal e-mails, circa 2008/09. The T.L.;DR version is that work e-mail regulations back then were quite relaxed.

So, today's e-mail humor is called The Four Cats, and while this is workplace humor, this is specific to my former employer, the State Of CT. But really, you can apply it to any local or state or federal entity. Enjoy!

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer.
The second man was an Accountant.
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a CT State Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-Square", do your stuff.
"T-Square" pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet", do your stuff.
"Spreadsheet" went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure", do your stuff.
"Measure" got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the State Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The State Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break", do your stuff.
"Coffee Break" jumped to his feet....
Ate the cookies...
Drank the milk...
Crapped on the paper...
Screwed the other three cats...
Claimed he injured his back while doing so...
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions...
Put in for Workers Comp...and...
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.....

And that, my friend, is why everyone wants to work for the state.

Here's to a very laid back Monday, as well as the rest of the week, for you.

{c} 2022 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

10 comments:

  1. That was funny! I can definitely see it.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! My co-workers had a very strange sense of humor back then.

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  2. You cracked me up. Thanks. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thankee! I had co-workers with very strange senses of humor.

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  4. Hilarious! It reminds me of hanging out with paleontologists, nuclear physicists, railroad engineers, and state employees in the fossil lab of the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. We had a lot of fun, especially during our Saturday morning coffee break. Talk about strange humor! Have a good one!

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    Replies
    1. Like I said, I had some really strange co-workers who would frequently send me some really bizarre stuff. I have some stuff that is so politically incorrect that it would probably get nuked if I attempted to share it on Fb.

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  5. That WAS Funny! Glad I stumbled onto your Blog this day and took a dip into the Post Archives.

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    Replies
    1. I have sooooo many of these e-mails, of which roughly 95% came from co-workers from the various agencies that I'd worked at for the bast 25 years. Glad you liked.

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Lay it on me, because unlike others, I can handle it.