Episode #217: E-mail Humor of the {G}entler Rated Kind

Spring is very much trying to make itself known these days, and this daffodil is a prime example.

For those of you who may not know, I used to be a state government worker, from 1996-2020. And during that time spent at four different agencies (State Library, Attorney General, DoC and DCF), I had a good working relationship with a lot of my co-workers, which in turn netted me a plethora of ye olden e-mail of (mostly) office humor.

Now, to give you just a tiny glimpse on how far back these e-mails go, the following statements are considered to be true:

1. When I started working for the state in 1996, Windows 95 was a thing;
2. When I started working for the state in 1996, Groupwise was the premier e-mail system being used; and finally,
3. When I started working for the state in 1996, Google was still someone's brainchild two years away from being launched.

Suffice to say, I've seen quite a few technological thingys during my working lifetime. Any who, I used to get a lot of e-mail humor (all of it clean) forwarded to me, and I thought after probably a two year hiatus, I would share a few of them with you.

The first one is entitled "Hymn #365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis, he declared, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With greater emphasis, he declared, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he declared, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down. The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #3665, Shall We Gather At The River."

This was the kind of kid friendly e-mail that were sent to/forwarded by, everyone in our various work places. We weren't allowed to really send anything that could be considered to be "adult" {nudge, nudge, wink, wink} through the official e-mail channels.😏

Another fine example, that those who are readers or writers would definitely understand, had to deal with historical libraries of the late 18th century. Back then, the library was often one of the few places outside of the church that a person could visit to have contact with other members of the community.

This particular e-mail highlights a September 1796 meeting held in Ware, Massachusetts about the establishment of a "Librarian's Society" (aka public library).

In September 1796, a meeting at the Ware Center Schoolhouse voted to establish a "Librarian's Society", and each subscriber contributed $1.00 to buy books. That sum procured about 50 volumes, with sermons, histories, and essays predominating. Fiction was represented by "Pilgrim's Progress" and two other titles. To preserve the books, fines were imposed: "For every leaf that seems to have been turned down, 3 cents. For every drop of grease from a candle or lamp, 6 to 25 cents at the estimation of the Librarian or the committee of inspection. For effacing a book with dirty hands or any other way, from 8 to 25 cents. For tearing a leaf or injuring the cover, not less than five cents." The Society flourished for many years, but came to an end in 1822.

Just out of curiosity, I found an inflation calculator, and in today's dollar values, $1 in 1796 equals $23.51 in 2024. In regards to fines, the max level of $.25 in 1796 equals to about $5.88 in 2024. A lot of bang for your buck back then.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed the gentle humor of the former e-mail and the snapshot of New England history of the latter, and I wish you a very Spring-like Monday.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved