Episode #253: Me Plus Automobile Equals Stressful Anxiety...For Others

Christmas 2024, where metal is king because the real thing is just too darn expensive (among other peripheral issues) this year. Plus, from what I understand, it took less than an hour to put up and decorate.

This week, I have a topic that strikes fear and stress in the members of my immediate family: automobiles.

Specifically, me and anything to do with automobiles.

First off, let me admit to this one important and highly salient fact: I am a 100% complete Richard as a passenger. I am actually proud of the fact that the moment I got my license at 16 (going on for what will be 44 years of being a menace on the roads), I turned into the mega-Kevin of the passenger universe.

If my ass wasn't planted behind the steering wheel, I became the kind of passenger that you would pull over to the side of a dark desert highway and push out of your car with a pointed metallic object. I have mellowed out in my older age, but I still wear my thorny crown with pride. Except on the rare occasions that I'm a passenger in my daughter's car, then I absolutely behave myself.

Now, onto the main topic of this post: my driving.

I make no excuses for my positively thuggish driving, as I was taught to drive by my dearest mother when I was a lad. Now she just drives bad. Period. End of discussion. Unfortunately her bad habits had also worn off on both of my children as well (she taught them), but that's a story for another time.

The key difference, in my humble opinion, between thuggish and aggressive, is that thuggish driving requires spatial awareness and acceptance that you drive like a jerk, but not jerky enough to draw the attention of Officer Unfriendly. Aggressive driving requires no acceptance of personal responsibility and a high level of narcissism.

I will also admit that my thuggish driving is an equal opportunity destroyer of cars. It really doesn't matter what kind of car that I drive, my driving habit remains the same, thuggish but obeying the basic rules of the road.

Here's a short list of the cars that I have owned/driven over the preceding four decades of life, most of which were driven into the ground/destroyed in an accident. In no particular chronological order, I have owned/driven the following:

Ford Pinto; Grand Torino; Chevy Malibu Wagon; Acclaim; Camaro; Hyundai; Ford Escort; Oldsmobile Alero; Nissan Altima; Toyota Celica (manual); Monarch; Ford Ranger.

Pretty sure that I've owned way more than 12, but you get the basic idea. 

In general, I do cause a lot of anxiety and stress with anyone who happens to be a passenger in any car that I drive. To be honest, I have to be one of the only people that I know that absolutely tolerates backseat drivers whenever I drive. I had people who straight up tell me that they will not ride with me due to the way I assault the road.

And I do not differentiate between highway and residential/town/city driving. Having resided in a suburban area located just outside the capitol for about fifty years and having worked in said capitol area for about twenty-two years, my driving has remain consistently the same: thuggish but obeying the house* rules of the road.

*When you drive in the city, normal rules of the road do not apply, but those that were modified due to certain circumstances do.

Now, lest you think that I drive severely stupid on residential streets, I do not. I am very well known in my local neighborhood, so I actually make sure to drive uber-responsible (e.g. posted speed limit or below, eyes open so wide that my entire head disappears). And if you think that after reading all of this that your opinion of my driving is low, just wait when I decide to tell you of my adventures as a pedestrian. BWHAHAHAHAH!

In general, I scare people with my driving, whether that other person is a fellow raging maniac behind the wheel, or a trapped passenger beside me. I drive badly and where I live in Connecticut, I am not considered to be an anomaly, but a normal member of the automotive society. If this was another time long ago, I probably would be the model for those news stories about bad drivers.

One more aspect of my driving you should know about that puts me a cut above everyone else save my two adult children, is that I still remember the majority of the back roads in my state from my days borrowing/returning newspapers/microfilm to various academic institutions. So not only can I still get from border to border to border without taking the highway, but I still remember what route numbers go N/S & E/W and where I generally is in a given part of this state.

Sadly, knowledge like this is rarely passed on to the younger generation these days. I mean, you should be able to in a pinch read an actual road map to get from point A to point B (last real road trip I had a road atlas with me and we were able to plan everything out down to the very last detail), but just like having to use an actual telephone, it's a very lost art.

So, how are your driving skills these days? Good, bad, average, or just so ugly that you're the proverbial answer to the insult of "you got your license out of a cereal box"? Inquiring minds might want to know, if only to avoid you as much as humanly possible on the roadways.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #252: Where Oh Where, Are My Blog Words?

We all need a little flashback to warmer times right now, and Happy little flowers can often bring the warm fuzzies to lighten the mood.

About once about every five months, I open up a blank blog screen, only to find myself staring at said screen and thinking to myself, "And I am here because....why?"

Which as a person who dabbles with the various parts of grammar is not a good question to ask myself. So when I sat down in front of the computer, and asked myself that very exact question, I knew a micro-second later that this was going to be ONE OF THOSE POSTS. The kind of post that starts off with good intentions but immediately pivots to being exactly like a t.v. series that jumps the shark when it comes up with a dream sequence that immediately wipes out the previous season's plots.

So the first thing I did (unnaturally for me) was to stare at my vast record collection to see anything popped out to me for a topic. Unfortunately, beyond noticing that I have several Jim Reeves records, nothing jumpstarted my brain cells. So we continued with our mental wandering to see what else could jumpstart my brain cells.

I briefly thought about giving a writing update, but instead I began ruminating about what kind of contract I would enforce on anyone who would want to option the movie rights to my series (you can spurt your liquid refreshment at the computer screen now). T.L.;D.R.: my series actually checks off a multitude of very important identity boxes in order to be given proper consideration for dipping into the cesspool of Hollywood.

So, after making that right turn at Truth or Consequences, we continued on our vainglorious journey for a writing topic. We briefly stopped at the music depot, to see what kind of topics, if any, they had for sale, but alas poor Yorrick, I knew him Horatio. So we stepped out of the music depot and thought about going to Homeless Depot or the railroad depot, but instead we made a stop at the mail depot.

Unfortunately, beyond getting a very thick guidebook to....drum roll please....MEDICARE! and griping about lost mail (that's a mind-numbing story within itself) and T-Mobile (another mind-numbing story within itself), nothing of any political import was to be had. So, yikes! and away we went to trample through the forest with our band of stoic manly men.

After trampling with my band of stoic manly men, we decided to exit the forest with blisters on my fingers and bunions on my toes in order to continue my search for a blog topic. Now if you've made this far and you're scratching your head wondering just exactly what the blog topic is and where are my blog words, let me tell you my dirty little secret.

To borrow from Jerry Seinfeld, this blog post is about absolutely nothing. Buuuuuut, it's a nothing that managed to bring a smile to your tired face on this mediocre Monday morning, because my friends, you read a post about nothing in particular. Unless you count someone dropping over a dozen pop culture references to be actually something, then you read a post about something.

Either way, you found a way to occupy anywhere from sixty seconds to one-hundred five seconds of your day absorbing a piece of fiction that contained absolutely nothing of import. Which means that my job is done here until next Monday, when we get to do this all over again not live in front of the studio audience, but via the compact disc. Or cassette, depending on what decade I would like to briefly reside in.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #251: Cover Me Softly To Better Music Quality

This was taken on one of my few full scale (for me) hikes in Cedar Mountain this year. Legs are to the point where going up an incline greater than 1% causes great pain, but the peace and tranquility I do get in the aftermath is well worth the aggravation.

This week's post was inspired by a mediocre e-zine article that I had via the M$N news aggregate that listed their version of a top 20 cover song list, and one of the covers mentioned was "Boys of Summer" done by a mediocre alt-rock band called The Ataris.

Now I've listened to that cover and that mediocre version is the only standout of the mediocre collection surrounding that song. 

Stating my opinion about a mediocre cover song by a mediocre band perfectly segues into my personal opinion that cover songs fall into three distinct categories: versions done by quality indie bands/artists that exceed the original; versions done by known bands that equal the original, even when they put an unusual twist; and versions done by known bands that sound like they were phoned in or done to make a quick buck.

Four artists that immediately come to mind that fall into the first grouping are Post Modern Jukebox, Violet Orlandi, Frog Leap Studios and Broken Peach. They managed to harness the power of YouTube and parlay that exposure into live stream concerts, higher quality videos, original songs, original full length c.d.s (the former has 10 c.d.s out, two have released/are releasing their debut and Frog Leap has released about 80+/- full length downloadables) and tours. I highly recommend checking them out as all four are fantastic artists.

The second grouping, known artists that have done covers that have equaled/surpassed the originals, are the ones that I will truly rave about, because their covers show that they actual care about the final product. Some examples are as follows:

1. I Fought The Law by the Dead Kennedys: This particular song actually got me hooked on the DKs back in the early 2000's. It's a skewered version that features the events surrounding the deaths of activist Harvey Milk and S.F. mayor George Moscone.
2. In Bloom by Sturgill Simpson: This is one of the few cover versions of a Nirvana song that absolutely knocks it out of the park. It's moody, dark and in my personal opinion, is how the song should've been played originally.
3. Boys Of Summer by The Hooters: This is the song that triggered me to write this post. This cover by The Hooters, is performed in the way that I believe does this song justice: lightly dark, foreboding, melancholy for what was illicit for a brief moment in time. In my personal opinion, the song should've never been presented with an upbeat tempo.
4. Black Betty by Ram Jam: This was the best rework cover of a song that the artist never received a writer's credit for. The original was done by bluesman Leadbelly, so it was a down tempo bluesy kind of number. And for an added twist, Australian band Spider Bait did a very cool cover of the cover.

Now to present some examples of those who basically do covers to either phone it in or to make a quick buck. Sadly, these few examples are ones that get played a lot on commercial rock radio. There are a lot to choose from, since it seems that every well known band has done covers, with the majority of them being just average/mediocre. Note: there will be no links as I don't want to add any more to the seven I already have.

1. Whiskey In The Jar by Metallica: For me, this cover only stays true to the original lyrics and nothing else. Having grown up on Roger Whittaker (my father had odd tastes in music when I was a child), the original version of this song was a lively Irish folk tale, almost like a jig. The version by Metallica was something that just hurt my ears to listen to. Turning a song into a metal song doesn't instantly make it good...but it does give it the potential for it to be a money-maker/way for a metal band to keep their name in the public eye.
2. Everlasting Love by U2: This was strictly a cash grab/keep the name out there between releases. The original is an uptempo sub-three minute song that makes you want to sing along to. This bleechy cover does nothing for the listener, as it's bombastic arena rock at its absolute worst.
3. Last Kiss by Pearl Jam: Strictly a cash grab that offers no variation to the original. They turned a decent "teen death song" (a sub-genre in the late 50's that featured songs like this one and "Tell Laura I Love Her") into something that a no-talent person like myself could play blindfolded. The insipid drum beat sounds like it came straight from a recording studio from the same time period. Just. No.
4. I'm Down by Adrian Belew: This was, in my opinion, an uninspired version of the Beatles classic. It just really didn't do anything for me, and it was definitely suited as a "B" side to the "A" side of "Oh Daddy!" (Billboard 100 chart). I kind of put it up there with the uninspiring bootleg version performed by the Beastie Boys.

It's sad that one can remember the bad versions of well known songs more than the original versions of the same song. There are a lot of cover songs that I've heard over the decades, courtesy of college radio and internet radio stations like SomaFM and believe that at least 70% of them are really good, and this includes all genres that I've been exposed to over the decades. It's the remaining 30% that bothers me to the point of being exceptionally unbent, because it's often those 30% that get the most airplay.

So I hope you've enjoyed my pleasant little diatribe about cover songs, and if cover songs are your jam, please check out SomaFM. SomaFM is another link in the chain of the only good thing to come out of California: music. They have a channel that is called "Covers", which plays nothing but in all possible genres.

Happy Monday!

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved

Episode #250: It''s A DVD Reality In A Downloadable World

I believe we need one final semi-real pic of Autumn in Connecticut until everything goes all the way to pot and becomes winter.

A few posts ago I touched upon how I'm currently expanding my c.d. collection by dipping my toes into the world of gently used music. This time around I plan to touch upon my nascent  (like I have exactly five dvds) DVD collection and how I'm doing it on the frugal end of the spectrum (i.e. gently used)

Presently, I have extremely eclectic tastes in movies, like none of that MCU or blockbuster stuff ever crosses my field of vision. Instead, I go for things like the odd action/adventure, noir, dark fantasy and the odd drama.

Note: roughly 95% of the movies that I like were originally discovered on the various sub channels of Starz, Showtime, HBO and Encore. You'd be amazed at the amount of quirky movies that no one cares about anymore on those channels.

For example, prior to adding to my collection with some used DVDs, I have the following films in my collection:

1. Drive Angry, featuring Nicholas Cage and Amber Heard: This is mostly a violent religious fantasy film, with Nicholas Cage portraying a man (John Milton) who escapes from Hell to rescue his granddaughter. The movie itself, at least that I can tell, is steeped in concepts of Hell, Satan and Redemption among other things. Believe it or not, most people give this move a 3/5 star rating.
2. 30th Anniversary collection of SchoolHouse Rock!: No further explanation needed (I also have the complete box set of the same).
3. Byzantium, featuring Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan: one of the better vampire films that came out of the early 2010s. Highly recommend it as this was compared to another excellent vampire film called Let The Right One In (watch either the original version in Norwegian with subtitles, or a very excellent American remake that takes place in Minnesota. Don't bother with the dubbed version).
4. The 13th Warrior, featuring Antonio Banderas: A very good film, in my opinion, that's set in the first millennia in the vast Nordic wastelands. To me, it feels like they drew on the old Icelandic saga of Beowulf to create this movie.

This is the extent of my very eclectic movie collection. I love movies that are mostly fantasy based but cover topics that intrigue me both as a writer and a reader, but as you can see, the collection is very tiny. The main reason is one that is always the major bugaboo when it comes to pursuing something that we like: money. 

I've always balked at paying high prices for movies (those mentioned above, except the boxed set, were in the $15-$20 range), and completely dismissed purchasing downloadable movies. I also wasn't too much of a fan of purchasing used movies, because for me, it was either new or nothing. But during this year, I softened my opposition to used movies when I started finding some faves in the used DVD selection at my public library. I was also re-introduced to the world of quality used merchandise when I had visited the Savers store (an upscale Salvation Army/Goodwill used good store) when I had decided to donate clothes that no longer fit me.

Another note: during my initial visit to that store, they had two high end sound/mixing boards for sale dirt cheap.

So in the past month, I decided to resume adding to my DVD collection by purchasing gently used DVDs of movies that I personally enjoyed throughout the decades. Here, in no particular order of importance, are the latest additions to my collection.

1. Luck # Slevin, featuring Josh Hartnett, Lucy Lui, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis: A very excellent NY based crime drama centered around a fixed horse race and revenge. What drew me to this movie was that it starred Josh Harnett, as at the time I was really into a Showtime limited series called The Penny Dreadful. If you like Victorian era drama centered around horror/fantasy, you'll love that series.
2. The Boondock Saints, featuring Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus: Another excellent crime drama movie about two brothers who believe that God choose them to rid the world of evil piqued my curiosity the multiple times that I had watched it. 
3. Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarrentino: This was a movie that I had searched out after watching Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. Another excellent thought provoking film by Tarrentino, this time about a heist that goes awry.
4. Eastern Promises, featuring Vigoo Mortensen, Naomi Watts and Vincent Cassell: I stumbled across this one sometime after watching Vigoo Mortensen in a previous crime drama film called A History of Violence (the opening sequence to that movie is not for the faint of heart, as it is quite disturbing). Viggo plays a cop who infiltrates the Russian Mafia, who runs into a nurse (Naomi Watts) who has possession of a baby and an incriminating diary that the late teen/young adult mother wrote about how she became pregnant.
5. Snatch, featuring, among others, Brad Pitt, Jason Statham, Dennis Farina and Benicio Del Torio. A very dark crime farce featuring the underground fight game and a very large diamond. This was a critically acclaimed follow-up to director Guy Ritchies debut of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Highly recommend both the movie and soundtrack.
6. 21 Grams, featuring Sean Penn, Naomi Watts and Benicio Del Toro. This was another movie that I had stumbled across during my movie channel surfing days. A quality suspense/thriller/vengeance movie that I highly recommend. Say what you want about Sean Penn's politics, but the man has grown way beyond his Jeff Spicolli character from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" as an actor.
7. Rounders, featuring Matt Damon, Edward Norton and John Malkovich. I would say that this a crime drama of sorts that centers around illegal card gambling. This was another movie that I had stumbled across, and one that I highly recommend.

Like I stated earlier, I have very eclectic tastes in movies, and except for the SchoolHouse Rock! collection, all R-rated. I can unequivocally state that there are PG and PG-13 movies that I do like and want to add to my collection, but those are mostly rooted in the decades from 1940 through the mid-to-late 1980s.

I hope you've enjoyed this snapshot of what I enjoy for video entertainment and here's wishing a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday for you and yours.

{c} 2024 by G.B. Miller. All Rights Reserved